I Don't Have a Cure for Anxiety Yet, But I'm Coping

What could cure my anxiety? In answer, all I've got is a deer in headlights expression to go with the sign that says 'wrong way, go back!' So no, I don't have a cure for anxiety. But I have some ideas.

Imagining the Cure for Anxiety

I think about that John Lennon song, Imagine - in that kind of world, anxiety wouldn't exist. Maybe in that world it never existed. Maybe I'm not afraid.

I catch myself imagining it--that world. Some days it helps. Even when it hurts, it helps just to stay with the idea of anxiety relief, letting go of the reality of things, settling in, being . . .. Being comfortable. Anxiety disorders, and mental illness as a whole, feels anything but comfortable. And being comfortable enough to notice that you're uncomfortable is itself a sign of healing.

We Don't See an Anxiety Cure Any More Than We See Anxiety Sufferers

One in four of us have a mental health condition. Look around you, at the office, the subway, the street. It's an easy bet. Twenty-five percent of people around you right now are likely living with a mental illness. It's that simple: Mental disease is right here, all around us, at every time.

Yet we miss it. Even in ourselves, we miss it. Don't see the storm even when we're right in the middle of it because it's just that big.

We need a cure for anxiety because it feels terrifying. Anxiety, straight up double shot anxiety, is nothing less than absolute fear.

The Closest We Have to an Anxiety Cure Are Coping Skills

There are a million and one tips and tricks I can tell you to dilute it, tolerate it, manage and contain it. And yes you really can do all that but it still won't make it go away. Some days, some days I wake up - I follow all the rules, I even feel better and still, all I want is for it to stop. Just go away. Done.

But anxiety doesn't get cured by wishing really hard.

So I accept what it is necessary to accept--those things I cannot change--and keep stabbing at the rest until it either leaves me alone, or shuts the hell up long enough to handle it.

Of all the anxiety coping skills I know it often feels the closest at hand, the nearest to my heart. I guess it's knowing. Something like that. It's like standing absolutely still when the world is spinning round and round, and you know it's out there. The fear. Way out of there, beyond your power to control.

And at exactly that point, it starts to feel Okay. Has to be.

An Anxiety Disorder Isn't Just a Feeling

I think that in those deep, dark, devastating hours of need what I need most isn't a cure for panic. What I find myself searching for most often is the courage to accept that I fear, to know that even if I cannot change that, I am bigger than it.

That a moment truly is just a moment, and even if the fear comes back, well perhaps, maybe, I can be different next time.