How Verbal Abuse Changes Your Perception of Others

June 3, 2021 Cheryl Wozny

As a victim of verbal abuse, I have found several factors still affect my everyday life, even years after my exposure to any insults and humiliation from someone else. But my perception of others' behavior is sometimes skewed with my history, making it harder to relate to and trust people

How Years of Verbal Abuse Altered My Perception 

When I face a situation where I feel confronted or attacked, my mind automatically goes into trauma mode, and I tend to jump to conclusions. Luckily, most people I talk to are not deliberately trying to put me down or shame me, even if that is how my brain perceives the situation. 

That does not mean that everyone I talk to is a good friend who only wants the best for me. There are still individuals who may not have my best interests in mind, but they are not as prevalent as I used to believe.

Lessening the Effect of Verbal Abuse on My Perceptions

It is hard to change the thought patterns of negative behavior, especially when your mind has run the same track your entire life. With countless hours of therapy and a supportive partner at home, I am slowly learning how not to believe every anxious thought that comes into my head. 

It takes me a lot of internal work to quiet the negative voice I still hear in my mind from time to time. I often repeat conversations to my partner that I perceive as negative to have him ask me if that is what they said or if that is what I believe they meant. His voice of reason helps bring my focus back to facts rather than any perceptions I had of the conversation. 

One Helpful Method 

I have gone through several methods of therapy in hopes of calming my anxiety, minimizing depression, and bringing hope to my life. One method I have found helpful is to change the thought patterns that I am so accustomed to having

This was not always the case, though. I tried this method years ago, only to have it fail due to my reluctance and the current situation at the time. Years later, I gave it another chance and have found some success. It is not an instant fix, as I had once hoped. 

Therapy methods take time and effort to see successful results. Even with my life moving along well, I do have bouts where I will stumble back into old habits. The hard part is accepting these hurdles and moving forward to get back on track. 

If you are struggling with how you perceive conversations and interactions with others, finding a therapy method to help you recognize this issue can provide some relief. By talking to a professional, you can find ways to help as you work through your perception issues. 

APA Reference
Wozny, C. (2021, June 3). How Verbal Abuse Changes Your Perception of Others, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, May 26 from

Author: Cheryl Wozny

Cheryl Wozny is a freelance writer and published author of several books, including mental health resources for children titled, Why Is My Mommy So Sad? and Why is My Daddy So Sick? Writing has become her way of healing and helping others. Find Cheryl on TwitterInstagramFacebook, and her blog

Lizanne Corbit
June, 8 2021 at 6:31 pm

This is such a powerful method to work with: change the thought patterns that I am so accustomed to having. It can take time and practice (and patience) to bring this into our daily experiences but it is so worthwhile when we do. Beautiful read. This is one that I'm sure many can read and take some comfort and a new perspective on.

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