It can be hard to tell when you're in a relationship: Is it verbal abuse or something else? Over time, every relationship develops a unique dialogue that you share with your partner--a communication style you both understand. But what happens when verbal abuse gets mixed into that dialogue? Is it a unique love language or is it verbal abuse? This was a struggle I faced in many forms over the course of one of my longest relationships.
Verbal Abuse in Relationships
Grey area verbal abuse makes it hard for you to tell who is an abuser and who is simply human, especially after coming from a place of prolonged abuse. How do you tell an abuser from someone unintentionally hurtful? This was a question I hadn't considered after I broke free from my narcissist.
Covert verbal abuse is a type of verbal abuse which can come in many forms and at many speeds. But at any rate, it can be detrimental to your self-esteem both during that relationship and as you live your life even after the abuse has stopped. Covert verbal abuse can have lasting effects that are just as impactful to your psyche as severe verbal abuse. It was really hard for me to identify this as the root behind a lot of my problems with confidence afterward.
Have you ever noticed how an abusive relationship makes you miss out on life? While thinking about what to write for this week's post, I became fixated on the fact I never got to see George Carlin perform live. I had the tickets, I was ready to go, but at the last minute, I decided to back out. It may seem insignificant, but missing his show over 10 years ago triggered an internal change that bettered my life. I learned to stop missing out on life, and it's all thanks to my narcissist.
I’m Katlyn, (sometimes Kat) Brinkley, and I’m excited to write for "Verbal Abuse in Relationships" at HealthyPlace. I want to share some of my thoughts and hopefully influence those of readers. I think verbal abuse can take many forms, and it’s important to recognize what unhealthy can look like in relationship dialogues. It’s my experience that while no relationship is perfect, repeated issues that involve one partner hurting the other without improvement, can result in significant, long-term emotional strain.
Can the verbal abuse victim become the abuser? And, if so, who does the abuse victim abuse? The answer will surprise you, so read on.
Over the past few years since my abusive relationship ended, I have been unraveling the layers of what happened through therapy, writing, research and a lot of soul-searching.
What is your inner GPS? Some call it intuition. Others call it a "gut feeling." No matter the label, we all have an internal GPS that guides us. But what happens when your inner GPS is recalibrated to someone else's objectives? This recalibration is the result of a verbally abusive relationship. The abuser will work their magic to undo our self-trust and put that trust into their hands. When this happens, we feel as though there is no place to turn, and the minute we get lost, the recalibration begins.
One of the worst things about being verbally abused by parents is that the damage can be lifelong, yet it can take a lifetime for someone to recognize the pattern of abuse they experienced.
My name is Jennifer Carnevale, but you can call me Jenn with two Ns and I’m the new author of Verbal Abuse in Relationships. I’m a high school English teacher, writer, traveler, tattoo enthusiast, and podcaster. Most importantly, I’m a recovering addict--10 years clean. My drug addiction began at 17 years old after a routine tonsillectomy when I was given a large bottle of a liquid opioid. The medication sent me into a downward spiral through anxiety, abuse, assault, and more. But after a decade of self-work, I am presented with this opportunity to share my stories on HealthyPlace. I get to help others leave the dangerous situations I was in and steer people away from the tell-tale signs and symptoms of verbal abuse. Gratitude is flowing from my heart.