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I Have Bipolar, and I Never Ghost People

November 22, 2022 Natasha Tracy

I have bipolar disorder, and I never ghost people. "Ghosting" is a slang term for when someone cuts off all communication. Some people may doubt that I don't ghost people based on my bipolar diagnosis; however, believe me, I am not a "ghoster." Moreover, I'm not the only one. Just because a person has bipolar doesn't mean they will ghost you.

In 2019, a blogger here, Hannah Blum, wrote a piece and did a video about how ghosting is a big problem in those with bipolar disorder. This piece has spoken to many people and has been on the list of the most popular posts for many weeks since then. I don't argue her main point — I think people with bipolar disorder do ghost people sometimes. However, I think it's important to remind people of the word "sometimes."

Why Would a Person with Bipolar Ghost You?

I do think people with severe mental illnesses are more likely to ghost others. In the case of bipolar disorder, I think this is because of the extreme mood states that we experience. When a person is in an extreme mood state that prevents them from getting out of bed, it's understandable that it can also prevent them from picking up the phone or firing up the computer.

There are many other complex reasons why a person with bipolar might ghost as well, including:

  • Being wrapped up in a mood like hypomania or mania to the extent that you don't even think of communicating with others
  • Feeling too personally worthless to feel worthy of communicating with others (from self-stigma, possibly)
  • Avoiding rejection by rejecting others first

And I'm sure there are many other reasons tied into bipolar disorder too. 

Why I Never Ghost People Despite Bipolar Disorder

I hate it when people ghost me. I find it sends my anxiety into overdrive and actually physically hurts. When someone I care about stops communicating with me, I feel like it's my fault and that they hate me. I feel terrible about myself. It's all I can think about until it gets resolved. I never ghost people despite bipolar because I never want anyone else to feel like that. And honestly, it makes me quite annoyed and even angry that other people are so selfish that they seemingly don't care about those ramifications.

I do understand that how I feel when someone ghosts me is my problem. But I also understand that ghosting makes everyone feel crappy, even if my bipolar disorder and I take that to a new level. And really, no matter whether ghosting makes a person feel a little bad or a lot is irrelevant. I never ghost people because I care about it either way. 

In short, just because a person has bipolar disorder, that doesn't mean they will ghost you. Some people might do that. But I have bipolar disorder, I never ghost people, and I never will. 

APA Reference
Tracy, N. (2022, November 22). I Have Bipolar, and I Never Ghost People, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, April 13 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2022/11/i-have-bipolar-and-i-never-ghost-people



Author: Natasha Tracy

Natasha Tracy is a renowned speaker, award-winning advocate, and author of Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar. She's also the host of the podcast Snap Out of It! The Mental Illness in the Workplace Podcast.

Find Natasha Tracy on her blog, Bipolar BurbleTwitter, InstagramFacebook, and YouTube.

Moses Felan
January, 10 2024 at 1:30 pm

I suffer from heavy anxiety.
Even reading your content gave me the jitters.
I've recently in the last 2 plus years have found that my entire character has changed.
Before I was a light going easy friend. Spouse if you will.
Now I find myself having high complex anxiety,
Mood swings and I am scared to pick up my phone.
I am functional work full time top salesman in the company, not a couch potato very much active when it comes to cleaning house.
2 years ago my Wife the kids an I lost our home to a fire on Eater morning 3am we all ran out safe l. We lost our fur baby Annie a mini chihuahua we had for 4 years this killed us the most i dont think ive ever mourned her. we've sense then found our Home and have restarted our lives.
Now that I gave you a small glimpse in to my personal life l, I have lost all my close friend relationship do to isolation.
I feel like if I'm alone I won't feel any rejection or I won't hear anything I may not want to hear I don't want to run the risk of getting hurt.
So after years of a few friends reaching out I distant myself so much so that we lost connection fully.
Another thing I find strange is my memory.
Particularly my childhood, I can not to save my life remember anything before I was like 15.
I mean I can not remember a single thing.
Not sure if this plays a factor with anything.
I'd just really like some guidance, I just don't know what to do any more.
It only gets worse an I only fall deeper and deeper inside my head.
Right now that's a terrible place to be in.

January, 12 2024 at 7:59 am

Hi Moses,
I'm so sorry to hear you're experiencing such anxiety. I know how hard that can be.
It must have been horrible to lose your home like that. Do you think that is related to your anxiety? It would make sense if it was. Losing your home can be horribly traumatic and affect you psychologically.
As for now, I highly recommend therapy. Your concerns and issues are complex, and you need more in-depth help than can be offered in a blog comment.
In addition, reaching out to others is never a bad idea. I know you said you put distance in those relationships. I understand that, but taking baby steps to reignite them is worth it. We all need other people in our lives.
I hear what you're saying that your head is a terrible place to be. You're not alone. Many people have that experience. That is why you need to reach out for help. It can get better, I promise; you just need help to get there.
-- Natasha Tracy

TJ Kamat
December, 31 2022 at 2:03 pm

What a solid response and stance to a sticky and emotionally charged and controversial issue! I was ghosted by someone online about a year ago. I had no resolution, recourse or any insight into why she did it other than to dis me after a few months of a connection. I didn't like what she did and had extra anxiety and a moodswing over it. I learned a lot about myself, my interests, needs and wants through that situation. I got some books and online courses and apps that have been helpful. I wasn't medicated well and became hypomanic for a while. She also had a moodswing and a downturn over the Holidays last year and then ended up getting more help. I began texting her too late for me bc of time zone differences and had some other issues.
I have found that I need blue light lenses to use my phone and tablet and to read more paper books at night than digital books. I also need to set specific work amd texting hours. Thanks for the good post.

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