Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me

May 6, 2014 Gabe Howard

Having an anxiety disorder is like someone following you, whispering in your ear, "I hate you." Learn how to deal with anxiety saying that "everyone hates me."

I am a strong person, physically. At six-foot-three inches tall and 250 pounds, most people wouldn't waste their breath arguing that assertion. And, whether because of, or in spite of, my bipolar and anxiety diagnoses, I consider myself to be strong mentally, as well. I am intelligent, accomplished, likeable, and successful.

Despite the mountains of evidence of this, my brain works diligently to convince me that every interaction I have with another person is a misstep. If I text someone and they don’t reply back, it is obvious they are mad at me. If someone doesn't answer the phone when I call, say hello when they pass by, or reply to my email, then my mind goes into what can only be described as an emotional roller coaster. It isn't a fun, state-of-the-art roller coaster, either. It’s an old wooden one, poorly maintained, and it’s painful when it turns corners. The ride up the first hill is jerky, slow, and the anticipation sends shock waves I can feel all over my body. It is emotionally, physically, and even mentally straining. It is fear, panic, anticipation, and dread all rolled into one giant full body panic attack.

Anxiety Convinces Me That Everyone Hates Me

Having an anxiety disorder is like someone following you, whispering in your ear, "I hate you." Learn how to deal with anxiety saying that "everyone hates me." At that moment, I feel as though everyone I know is mad at me. They all disrespect me, think I am stupid, and do not want me in their lives any longer. Quite simply, my anxiety says everyone hates me.

Now, on top of all the other emotions, guilt forms. I feel guilty that I put someone in such a difficult position. I imposed by reaching out to them. Asking them a question, for a favor, or simply saying hello was uncalled for. I should not have done it and, since I’m a good person, I want to apologize. I want to reach back out to them and ask if they are mad, if they are okay, what I did wrong, and let them know I want to make amends. I want to set things right.

I Just Want the Anxiety to Stop

More often than not, what does get me in trouble and where I do make a mistake is by war dialing, constantly texting or e-mailing, or asking them one too many questions about why something is a certain way. Even apologizing for a legitimate mistake can be over the line, if handled the wrong way.

Ninety-seven times out of a hundred, the reason I didn't hear back was because the person was busy, in a meeting, mulling it over, or because people have things to do other than answer me. In the rare occasions where I did make a mistake, offend, or bother someone, the issue is generally cleared up quickly with an explanation and an apology. The people in my life know that I am a good person and don’t intentionally hurt others and they doubly know I wouldn't intentionally hurt them.

Ignoring the Anxiety that Says that Everyone Hates Me

It is hard to sit back, relax, and not engage the anxiety. It baits me to do something I will later regret. I work with my therapist to find techniques to calm down and I explain to my friends and family that when I ask if they are mad me, it is because I genuinely care and I want to make sure they are okay. I am also honest in admitting that checking in with them alleviates my suffering. Often, it is more about me than about them, and they understand that.

There are as many ways to alleviate anxiety as there are people. It is trial and error, but there are techniques that work for many people. Mindfulness, meditation, advanced preparation, sleep hygiene, therapy, and medication can all be used to control this disorder. But the biggest factor in this will always be me.

You can find Gabe on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, and his website.


APA Reference
Howard, G. (2014, May 6). Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 14 from

Author: Gabe Howard

July, 15 2018 at 6:54 am

I can relate to this feeling completely. Everyone in my life loves me and thinks I have such great potential and I can do anything I put my mind to. I also believe that but getting myself there is the hard part. I’m 26 years old I have been a server/ bartender for most of my life, traveled and that’s the only thing I care about is seeing the world. I moved to Vancouver from Alberta to start a new job with door to door sales and learned so much but i gave up and I’m back doing the same serving/bartending which I absolutely love and have always loved but it’s not enough to fill what’s missing. If anyone has advice I would love to hear it thank you ?

June, 9 2018 at 2:15 pm

I go to conventions every year and meet my favorite actor. After the 3 seconds spent in the photo op, I’m convinced I can feel this psychic energy coming from him that can only be interpreted as “HE HATES ME” is this similar to anything you go through, or does he really maybe just hate me?

June, 21 2019 at 10:58 am

I constantly feel like that vibe is given off by the people I meet. it's important to take into consideration that the standard of showing you like someone is different for each person. chances are he doesn't hate you but just has a different personality and way of reacting to things

June, 21 2019 at 2:25 pm

I very much agree. One should not assume that everyone is going to react in the same way - the human race is far too varied for that.

November, 6 2019 at 12:40 pm

So funny you would say that because I go to conventions as well to meet my favorite actor and after I thanked him (very briefly) for being so I inspiring he said "thank you for being awesome!" But I was convinced given his tone of voice that he hated me. That's what my mind keeps telling me although he's known for being such a sweet guy who loves everyone and who totally understands negative self talk that comes from anxiety and other things, and would never give off that vibe on purpose to a fan, since he values the fandom so much (it helped save his life). Maybe you know who I'm referencing but my point is your favorite actor does not hate you. They are at conventions because they like to meet fans. Although I know how disappointing it is to do something so fun as a photo op just to have those stupid thoughts try to ruin something good. Don't let it! And next year just enjoy the photo op for all the good things that it is! (And I'll try to do the same)

May, 26 2018 at 10:21 pm

Thank you for this ariticle. I can relate to what you've written. It is relieving knowing that someone else understands. I'm sorry you have to deal with this and thank you for having the conference to write this.

Vicki Mason
May, 3 2018 at 9:50 pm

I feel like this described me in a nutshell and I would like to join

April, 14 2018 at 6:49 am

I would really like to join the group

March, 20 2018 at 1:58 pm

Why don't we put everyone's numbers here and make one whatsapp group then?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

March, 28 2018 at 11:31 am

is it too late to join?

March, 20 2018 at 12:36 pm

I’d like to be part of the WhatsApp group if that’s alright. What’s the number?

March, 12 2018 at 8:55 pm

Hello can I join the what’s app group I feel the pain anxiety every damn day

February, 26 2018 at 12:04 pm

I always feel like I have to ask whoever I am talking to if they are on or if they are mad. If someone seems to not have a friendly voice talking to me , I automatically assume they are mad at me. I sit home every single day bc my husband takes our only car to work everyday , I work from home so I don't leave the house. I always feel like I need to make sure everyone has what they need and want before me. I am the first person to say sorry for anything , even if I know for sure that I didn't do anything wrong. I feel lonely all of the time and feel like I just cry and cry. Most of the time I would rather try to sleep then talk to anyone bc I am so afraid that I might say something or do something to make someone angry. I feel like I have to kiss everyone's rear. Deep down inside I know this is not right but I am this way anyways . I always feel that everyone I love and care about are going to leave me . I have no one to talk to , my husband gets mad at me all of the time . He tells me to shut up and get away from him , even when I am just asking if everything is ok. I know I need to find some help somewhere or find someone that can help me through this . I am on 5 mg diazapam twice daily but it makes me so tired . I need help somewhere , I am up for a group if there truly is one. I have trust issues as well and don't mean to.

Larissa Lowe
February, 14 2018 at 5:11 pm

Please add me. I have taken this one to the highest level

January, 26 2018 at 12:15 am

Whats the number I’ll join

January, 26 2018 at 12:15 am

Let’s start the group!

January, 2 2018 at 5:50 am

If You're Down For a Whatsapp group then text me on that number.

December, 28 2017 at 4:47 am

Send me Your numbers on +254718259060.#What'sapp group.

December, 20 2017 at 11:05 pm

How do you start one?

October, 30 2017 at 2:13 pm

I would totally be down for a whatsapp group... I don't think I'm comfortable enough to go see a professional since this whole anxiety thing embarrasses me. I'm just so sick of feeling like this all their time. It's so exhausting trying to pretend to not be anxious and being anxious at the same time. Let me know if you start a WhatsApp group Andrew.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Javier Lopez
November, 3 2017 at 3:47 am

Yes please I'll definetly join. I am on the same boat, I wish people knew how exhausting trying to do the simplest task with anxiety n social anxiety ( in my case ). Just making small talk at work I have to force myself to talk to co workers n most of the time afterwards I just feel like I'm just weird :( I'm just so exausted. Only time I feel ok is when I'm alone or sleeping

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

December, 3 2017 at 7:24 am

I would love to join too!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

December, 16 2017 at 2:44 am

is the whatsapp group still on?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

January, 6 2018 at 3:31 pm

I would love a Whatsapp group, no one understands what I am going through. Then I can talk to people without worrying it would spread. Anyone down? If so tell me the numbers

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

December, 16 2017 at 2:45 am

pls start one i would love to join

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

December, 22 2017 at 11:21 pm

Yeah was the what'sapp ever made ? I'd love to join as well

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

January, 1 2018 at 9:38 am

Please I'd like to join to I'm more comfortable talking to strangers

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

February, 4 2018 at 10:00 am

Does this WhatsApp group exist? I would love to join

October, 23 2017 at 12:18 pm

A good idea would be a private group of whatapp for example, where to share and help eachother.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

December, 19 2017 at 9:27 pm

How to join this group Andrew?

October, 10 2017 at 7:45 am

I feel the exact same thing and I have anxiety disorder and I am just 14 but everyone thinks that I lie about my anxiety and do it for attention so I just don't discuss my panic attacks or feelings with anyone anymore. I know I am emotionally strong but recently I have started feeling that everyone hates me because of my personality may be. I feel like they dont need me and even though i help every single person out at school (with homeworks notes etc) because they think that I am smart. Also I am the youngest in my grade as I skipped 3 grades so everyone is older than me. I cant go to any therapist and there is no counselor available at my school currently I dont know what to do. I have been keeping everything to myself but now I just cant take it anymore. Besides my anxiety I have insomnia and depression but I dont share that with anyone either because I dont want them to hate me even more by thinking that I am merely an attention seeker
Can anyone help?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

October, 11 2017 at 10:33 am

That's how I feel and I have really bad anxiety and it's hard to control sometimes I just dont know what to do anymore im 13 and I have depression and anxiety and I have a therapist
But I dont think it's working, mostly because my parents never take me but like 1 time a month I usually keep everything im feeling to myself I dont talk to my parents, but I have told my mom so many times that there is something wrong with me and I'm always sad I never want to talk to anybody and I stay isolated up in my room all the time I went to the doctor like a month and a half ago maybe two and they put me on medicine for depression and anxiety and it's suppose to help with my ADHD but my mom was too scared to get it for me because I won't take my other medications and she thought that I would miss a day and it has bad side effects like suicidal thoughts and attempts and I went to my therapist and she and my mom made a deal saying that if I took my medicines for 2 weeks she would get me what I needed and so I did exactly and I still haven't got my medicine my mom's a nurse so she always uses the excuse we are packed today and I can't take it. Sometimes I dont even want to live and I feel like nobody cares about me and I hate being this way I can't get the medicine I need and im barely hanging on from a string. I self harmed for a while then I recently am trying to stop, I quit for 2 months and then I slipped but I promise to myself im not going to do it again but when I get really sad and think a different way I always think of doing it. I am trying to stop, I know I shouldn't be this way so I dont talk about it but I can't do this anymore I really need someone to talk to. I have a boyfriend and he is so good to me we have been together for a year this month but he doesn't really understand and he's been through this before but I don't think he understands, I dont think anyone does.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

October, 16 2017 at 3:53 am

so sad to hear that but atleast there is someone who feels like me. Stay strong and i understand what you are going through. I hope it gets better. May be we can talk about it somewhere else on social media if you dont mind because I think talking can help and I have never shared my feelings with anyone in person before

October, 1 2017 at 7:49 am

I feel exactly the same , I usually just put it to the back of my head , but recently it's really starting to bother me I'm a kind person and was very popular had 8 best friends from school but lost all of them due to my anxiety , feeling they didn't like me , or they where taking advantage of me , I am also quite jealous , I'm feeling very depressed at the moment I have no close friends, I have friends in work but today I feel my anxiety kicking in and I'm starting To over think about my friends in work , I hate this ! I get on well with everyone but my mind works overtime and makes me feel like I'm mad .... feel I will be lonely for the rest of my life ..

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

October, 6 2017 at 3:14 pm

I feel angry too. I don't like this feeling and want it to stop. It scares me to be so angry. I don't know how I got to this point. I used to be a forgiving person. I didn't get angry I just got hurt and then let it go. At least I thought I did. Now though I'm bitterly angry. I don't know it's from my life experiences or my anxiety. I'm seeing a counselor and he says my anger stems from all of the hurt I feel inside. I wish there was a pill for that. How do you get rid of painful memories. They come flooding into my mind whenever someone says or does something that is similar to the previous hurt. I seem to be overly sensitive and believe everybody hates me. It's crazy. I don't know how I got to this point.

Cacota :v
September, 7 2017 at 9:13 am

I am not diagnosed but the symptoms are the same. I always think I bother when I talk, that's why I isolate myself.I don't wanna hang out bc I feeling I'm wasting other's people time and if they suggest me that I don't believe they want to be with me for the fact of doing it, why would thry do that with so many interesting and cool people over there?Even bringing a gift to friend is so painful, I never know when someone is my friend bc I need them to say it.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Jennifer vanderslice
September, 10 2017 at 6:40 am

I feel the same way.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

November, 26 2017 at 8:20 pm

Im having the same thing, it started when i had to redo a class on school. I was affraid to face my old friends because i felt like they all hated me and all i did was annoy them. I found out something might be wrong 2 days ago. When i randomly started crying in class

Sarah boyer
September, 5 2017 at 6:09 pm

Im feeling really depressed because im only 15 AND I CANT DEAL WITH IT.... it ruins activities to even just going to the mall....i feel like no one wants me.....i feel like that all the time

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

September, 26 2017 at 8:05 am

Sarah, you are young enough that you can train your brain to stop feeling this way. How wonderful for you that you're realizing this now, when you can actually do something about it and retrain your thoughts. Hang in there, and just keep up the 'good' self-talk. Talk back to those bad thoughts and get mad at them!! ;) Just from your comment I can tell that you're a very sensitive person, and realizing that this is just anxiety talking is 99 percent of the battle. xoxo

August, 31 2017 at 5:46 pm

I never realized that this was an anxiety thing for me, just kinda assumed that it was being lonely except for a couple of friends, and maybe trust issues or something. I don't think that I expirience as much of as other people commenting, but I often feel like when I don't talk to people for a little while,(even just a couple days sometimes) we're just growing apart and I have no control over it, and it just scares the heck out of me.

August, 14 2017 at 6:07 pm

This is so me. Except I won't keep calling or texting people. I will shut down and not speak to anyone because I am scared that maybe my paranoid thoughts are true. I own my own business and this gets me "in trouble" all of the time.

April blevins
August, 12 2017 at 2:48 pm

Im just realizing how much anxiety has affected my life. I think everbody really hates me. They just pretend to like me. Because I feel this way so much I have isolated myself. I dont have any friends that hang out with or talk to on a regular basis. If I do start to talk to someone I tend to find reasons to stop. Im so lonely but to the few people Im around all the time I pretend to be ok. Im tired of pretending I tired of acting stong when Im really falling apart and want to runaway.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Kim jensen
August, 31 2017 at 8:05 pm

I'm exactly the same, and whenever I feel like I'm so done and I'm about to tell someone exactly how I feel, I'm scared and I don't want to take their time. And it's dangerous because I'm always doing things such as driving extremely fast in order to just get away from it all.

Barry Hingley
August, 2 2017 at 2:37 pm

We all can learn by sharing &listening to others!

July, 10 2017 at 8:20 pm

I have extreme anxiety I take medication but still freak out in the stores. Fear comes over me and all I want to do is escape. I dread crowed and feel Ill get lost. My heart beats overtime. I also have paranoid schizophrenia. The medicine I'm taking for that is helping, But what to do about the anxiety I don't know take four 1 mg tabs a day of klonopins which helps better than before. What to do?

July, 5 2017 at 5:50 am

Im only about 14 years old and i have severe anxiety issues and every time i speak to someone i feel they just dont want to speak to me because they hate me. I really hope it gets btter soon because im not sure i can live with it.

June, 20 2017 at 2:44 pm

I have been feeling like this ever since my early 20s am now mid 30s and my worst is at work I fear that everyone hates me or talks about me or feels sorry, I fear any time we all have to go in for a meeting or even a lunch can make my anxiety get so bad, I'm coming to realise it may of been from when I was younger and got a little bullied at school was nothing major but I am a sensitive shy person, everyone always comments how gorgeous I am and positive but deep down I have so much doubt and lack of confidence, I also know our minds are such a powerful thing and we are only human , we need to look after ourselves and exercise meditate, eat healthy n hang out with people who make u feel good don't be around toxic people, stay positive friends and let's not let this fear of ours take over our lives, all the best x

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Barry Hingley
August, 2 2017 at 2:21 pm

All above is there to teach us what need 2 know!Counsolling really does help!With faith &hope we can get onto comfortable squares!One day @ time!

June, 19 2017 at 8:12 pm

I am releived to find this forum. I feel so alone in this small quaint town..everyone has a place and I am working hard at making genuine connections with people. Its been 3 years of torture isolating in an out..I wear a smile greeting people asking them if they want to hang out after a couple times chatting of course..but nothing seems to go thru. I have alot of anxiety Im thinking its social bc i hate gatherings and fear sweeps over me panic or wedding..ect. evn important meetings i studder and say shit i shouldnt..i am so frustrated and sad wondering what is it that people dont like about me? Ive been bullied my whole life school job..I think their right bc its the mesagae ive heard my whole life. Your not good enough or u wont be anything special why try? I grew up with Narsasstic abuse amd its takin a heavy toll on my life health spirit. Ive spoken to counselor but i dont have acess any more. I just feel so isolated alone an need social connection. Tired of fighting the anxiety of it all. Meds dont work for me i am doing meditations hpoefully that makes a postitive impact. Its a whole of i jus want out!

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