A Respite From My Bipolar Child Bob has been at his father's house since Friday evening for the first half of his winter school break. He won't be home until next Sunday--meaning nine days of life without Bob for us. Of course, I miss him--but truthfully, it couldn't have come at a better time.

There are some issues surrounding children with mental illness, their parents, blame and anger, I want to explore. While I'm collecting my thoughts, however, I ask you to consider this, originally posted on my personal blog in July, 2007. Kindergarten starts August 20, 2007. Bob is registered. He's had his tour of the school. He can't wait. Me? I'm freaking out.

(cont. from part 1 of story) My son’s bipolar disorder and ADHD treatment has been a constant source of conflict between his father and I. Non-compliance with Bob’s prescribed medication regimen has been an ongoing problem for years, and has once again become a problem following a frightening drug reaction. Despite the devastating effects bipolar medication non-compliance could have on Bob’s physical and emotional health, there are sadly few resources I can go to for help.

As I mentioned in this week's audio, Bob recently suffered a reaction to one of his psychiatric medications. He’s fine now, but the discussions between his father and I that have followed leave me wondering if he’ll survive the fallout.

It's no secret that raising children requires patience, particularly children with mental illness. Patience can be the difference between moving forward from conflict and escalating into a full meltdown. I have, however, discovered a quality even more important to raising a child with a psychiatric condition--compassion.

Dating as a single mother--tough. Dating as a single mother of a child who never sits still, throws outrageous tantrums, gets kicked out of preschools and gives you black eyes--tough to the point you might want to consider adopting several cats and joining the spinsterhood. Once in a while, though, life throws you a curve ball, and you might just meet Mr. Fantastic--that's when the real work begins.

Tonight, the boys and I watched "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" in honor of the coming holiday. When I was a kid, I developed an obsession with Peanuts, the Charles Schulz comic strip. I spent a summer poring over a garage-sale anthology of the strip, almost feeling as if I was a member of the Gang. I even had my own "Psychiatric Help" booth a'la Lucy, courtesy of my grandfather's carpentry skills and willingness to indulge. I still love all things Peanuts, but the characters have fallen out of favor with modern kids. I have to wonder--why was I drawn to them? Could it be because each character seems to have been plucked from the pages of the DSM-IV?

Part of having a child with a chronic condition is self-education. Whether you want to or not, you become a sort of layman's expert on whatever ails your child. I'm no exception--I know more about Bob's Bipolar and ADHD diagnoses (and others) than I ever wanted to know. The most frightening thing I've learned, however, is how little we actually know.

It's a common misconception among the "normal"--any time a child with a psychiatric illness demonstrates an undesirable behavior, it's surely connected to his diagnosis. Little do they know, mentally ill kids are, at the end of the day...kids.

I posted this on my personal blog on 11/09/06. Bob had been 5 only a few short weeks. We were deep in custody litigation and still 18 months away from a real diagnosis. As you can tell from these paragraphs, I was nearing the end of my rope.