advertisement

Anxiety and Overthinking Everything

December 31, 2015 Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC

Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome. I've been accused of making problems where there aren't any. To me, though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn't helpful at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn't have to be a permanent part of our existence.

Ways Anxiety Causes Overthinking

An effect of any type of anxiety is overthinking everything. There are common themes to the way anxiety causes overthinking. Perhaps this generic list will remind you of specific racing thoughts you experience and help you realize that you're not alone in overthinking everything because of anxiety.

  • Obsessing over what we should say/should have said/did say/didn't say (common in social anxiety)
  • Worrying incessantly about who we are and how we are measuring up to the world (common in social and performance anxiety)
  • Creating fearful what-if scenarios about things that could go wrong for ourselves, loved ones, and the world (common in generalized anxiety disorder)
  • Wild, imagined results of our own wild, imagined faults and incompetencies (all anxiety disorders)
  • Fear of having a panic attack in public and possibly thinking that you can't leave home because of it (panic disorder with or without agoraphobia)
  • Worrying about a multitude of obsessive thoughts, sometimes scary ones and thinking about them constantly (obsessive-compulsive disorder)
  • Thinking -- overthinking -- a tumbling chain of worries, vague thoughts, and specific thoughts (all anxiety disorders)

Result of Anxiety and Overthinking

With anxiety, not only are these thoughts (and more) running through our brains, but they are always running through our brains, non-stop, endlessly. Like a gerbil hooked up to an endless drip of an energy drink, they run and run and wheel around in one place, going absolutely nowhere. Day and night, the wheel squeaks.

Over-thinking everything is a horrid part of anxiety disorders. Over-thinking everything creates more anxiety. This tip helps stop over-thinking. Check it out.Anxiety and overthinking everything makes us both tired and wired. One result of the thinking too much that comes with anxiety is that we are often left feeling physically and emotionally unwell. Having these same anxious messages run through our head everywhere we go takes its toll.

Further, another dangerous result of anxiety and overthinking everything is that we start to believe what we think. After all, if we think it, it's real, and if we think it constantly, it's very real. Right? No. This is a trick anxiety plays. Anxiety causes overthinking, but with anxiety, these thoughts aren't always trustworthy.

You have the power and the ability to interfere in anxiety's overthinking everything. It's a process that involves many steps, but a step you can take right now to slow down that gerbil is to have something with you or around you to divert your attention. Rather than arguing with your thoughts or obsessing over them, gently shift your attention onto something else, something neutral. By thinking about something insignificant, you weaken anxiety's ability to cause you to overthink everything.

I explain this further in the below video. I invite you to tune in.

Let's connect. I blog here. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Pinterest. My mental health novels, including one about severe anxiety, are here.

APA Reference
NCC, T. (2015, December 31). Anxiety and Overthinking Everything, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2019, August 18 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2015/12/anxiety-and-over-thinking-everything



Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC

Tanya J. Peterson is the author of The Mindfulness Journal for Anxiety, The Mindfulness Workbook for Anxiety, Break Free: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in 3 steps, and five critically-acclaimed, award-winning novels about mental health challenges. She speaks nationally about mental health, and she has a curriculum for middle and high schools. Find her on her website, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 9 2017 at 11:42 am
Hello Austin,
The things you describe can definitely be symptoms of anxiety and depression -- including changes in behavior. With new symptoms like this, it's often wise to consult a doctor, as these symptoms can be part of other things, too. A doctor can help treat anxiety or refer you to someone that is a good fit. Something important to realize: there isn't a "problem" with who you are. You are experiencing something that is causing problems for you, but you yourself aren't a problem.
Austin
says:
May, 9 2017 at 11:11 pm
Thank you madam ?
Elle
says:
April, 28 2017 at 6:25 am
hi ,
I tend to overthink and always think people are talking about me
for example i can be standing somewhere some school kids can be in a group near me this happens with some people ive had trouble with before
and anything i kind of hear them say , if they laugh and if they look at me i kind of think that they are talking about me
ive been wrong before
but im wondering if its because ive had trouble with some people before and thats why i tend to believe they are always talking about me when they are around me

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 30 2017 at 11:18 am
Hi Elle,
Anxiety can come from many different sources. A very legitimate cause of anxiety is past experiences. Prior negative experiences with people can cause you to lose trust in what people are up to now. Many things can help with this. Working with a therapist can be great because he/she can help you figure out if your thoughts are accurate (as in based on real events and actions of others), and they can help you overcome anxiety about what others are saying/doing. There are good self-help books, too. For this type of anxiety, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are particularly useful. It's definitely possible to overcome this anxiety!
Elle
says:
May, 1 2017 at 2:56 am
Thankyou so much
Yes i am seeing a counsellor
I think my Anxiety comes from past experiences , i tend to overhear some peoples conversation or see the way some people look at me when they are near me and just automatically think that they are talking about me but there is always the case of maybe they actually weren't talking about me and I've just created a problem that wasn't there
Thankyou So Much

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 3 2017 at 10:05 am
It's great that you are seeing a counselor. Your insight that you might have created a problem that wasn't there is a really good one. Working with someone can help you really believe it and know what to do to about it. (Incidentally, throughout my life people have told me, "Tanya! Stop making problems where there aren't any!" So you're definitely not the only one who does this (it's a hallmark of anxiety, actually). And you can prevent it from overwhelming you.
jack
says:
April, 25 2017 at 4:55 pm
Hello I am 15 years old and I had social anxiety for atleast 4 years. It all started with people being judgemental about my looks. People would call me ugly and wierd looking and many other names. This is the reason that I became depressed and sucidal. I know it's stupid to have these thoughts and feelings about my looks, but I can't help but dwell and over think about it. It confuses me so much because their was this kid who was my best friend (Who was called ethan) he was so judgemental about my looks for as long as he was my friend for, but their were some times where he would be nice to me. He would call me not ugly and avarage looking, and most times he would hate me. But I dont know why. he was so negative towards me it made me want to be alone and it made me hate going past people because I didn't want to be judged by them. He and many others has made me think life as pain and unfairness and I either want to hurt them and torture them or just hang myself. Please help me I am trying to be confident but Its so hard.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 26 2017 at 1:55 pm
Hi Jack,
I'm sorry that you have been going through this. I'm sure it is very hard to stay confident, and no, you aren't stupid for any of this. It sounds like you were stuck in a very toxic friendship and others jumped on board with the name calling, etc. I have something for you to think about. People act this way because of their own insecurities and problems. (And let's face it, there are people who are just jerks, and they're that way to everyone -- but it feels like you're the only one they treat horribly). I say this confidently because I've been in high schools as a teacher and counselor and as a human I've experienced horrible treatment. You've been dealing with this for an incredibly long time, and it makes sense that you are feeling the way you do. The important part, and the part that shows how much stronger you are than the bullies (seriously, people who act like that are pretty weak because that's the only way they know how to make themselves feel better or to deal with problems in their life). There's a big difference between having these thoughts and feelings and acting on them. I'm going to give you a link to a list of hotline numbers and other resources. There are people who can talk to you and help you figure out your next steps. Using these resources will help you move forward and live the life you want to without these bullies and toxic people stopping you. It's very possible for you. You've already reached out so you're past the first step. You've got this, and you'll come to believe it. I sincerely wish you the best.
April, 26 2017 at 1:57 pm
Here's that link, Jack: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/
Grant Robertson
says:
April, 24 2017 at 8:15 pm
Hi, I've suffered from PTSD turned into Agoraphobia for almost 10 years.

Thank you for writing this, it helps a little. I still can't stop myself overthinking, and its driving me to the brink of insanity. I ruined a perfect chance at a relationship today, over a minor tiny detail that i couldn't stop obsessing about. I try constantly to find way to distract myself, but i can never do it. My mind just takes control, and i have no control over it.

I really appreciate people who write things like this!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 24 2017 at 10:19 pm
Hi Grant,

Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate knowing that this was a little helpful (or at least something you could relate to and see that you're not alone). I understand the feeling that your mind takes control. I have personal experience with that feeling! Does it help to know that you really can develop control over your mind's overthinking? I do continue to overthink, but I don't listen anymore. (Oh, and I'm sorry about what happened with your relationship. Maybe you can try to reconnect??)
Sofía González
says:
April, 21 2017 at 4:15 pm
Hello Tanya!
I don't know how to start. Because I feel like I have so much to say that I cannot organize all of my thoughts. I need help, I feel so hopeless, I don't understand myself. In my last year of middle school I used to feel so confident, so sure, it was my best year, I felt so much prettier, happier, so grateful for life and everything, I'd never overthink because I would be so sure, but then, when I started high school two years ago I decided to be immature, stop being grateful, I know it sounds so stupid. It is, and it was the worst decision ever, I don't even know why I did that. I thought they were going to be the years that would do make mistakes to be better, but I already was good enough, enough to think that I could better myself being good enough (idk if that makes sense). I regret it and I tried to change it but know I feel like it has become a habit that I can't change. So I just feel, confused, I don't know how to feel because sometimes I feel so sure/confident but later I feel so crappy like I don't know, so weird, so insecure about myself but at the same time I feel like Im not. In some way I just don't know why and what to feel, even what to think. I think I overthink my feelings and I don't know what to do so then I just feel like depressed. Anything you could say would really help me.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 24 2017 at 10:05 pm
Hi Sofia,

I'll start with something important: No, what you described does not sound stupid! Your feelings aren't only normal for being a teenager and in high school, they are very okay. When asked, most adults say they would never go back to high school if they could, and there are good reasons for that. This stage of development involves a lot of exploration, testing out different ways you want to be, finding independence yet still wanting to belong to groups like friends and family (and sometimes not wanting to be part of all that!). We grow and change and explore all throughout life, but in high school its particularly intense because this is the first time you're doing it on a more mature level. It's not simple. So please go easy on yourself. From what you wrote, it sounds like you used to have more self-assurance, and you liked that. It also sounds like you want to have that again and maybe make some changes how you see yourself or choices you make. These are great and signs of maturity -- if someone is immature, they can't self-reflect on this level. Because you can visualize this, and because you want this, you can make changes. You're right about behaviors becoming a habit. It probably does feel like you can't change, but that is just an illusion, a false belief (we all have them -- it's part of being human). Just because your mind tells you you can't change doesn't make it true. When I get confused or anxious or stressed and start overthinking things, getting caught up in regrets, feeling insecure, I do three things that are really helpful: first, I stop paying attention to my thoughts and emotions. They're still there, I just don't follow them. Next, I figure out what I want in my life right now -- what's important to me? Then, based on that, I decide on some actions, little things I can do every day to work toward what I want. I push thoughts of what I don't want out of my mind and keep acting toward what I want. Taking little steps, some action, actually increases my confidence as it moves me forward. Feel free to try this if you want to. Doing this is a way of life rather than a quick fix, so be patient with yourself. Truly, you sound like a strong young woman with a lot going for her. Your level of self-awareness is great. I bet there are a lot of other great things about you. Think more about those than you do the very human mistakes. :)
Julian Derczynski
says:
April, 4 2017 at 4:10 pm
I have social anxiety, since i was at school, I am now 27. I tend to spend too much time thinkinng, i get a persistent racing thoughts most of the time, especially when i'm stressed or anxious. I also have aspegers, which i think may contribute to my thought. The thoughts i tend to get are very unusual, like sometimes i can think about something that i have just done but exactly how it happened, like as if im reacting it in my head, or sometimes i often get a intrusive thought where i think i don't like something when really i do. I also occasionally, but most often don't, get unintentional sexual, self harm, harming my parents or my cat. I do quite often get anxious thoughts such as worrying thoughts like someone is going to say something that will stress me out or at times i can worry about things that will happen. But because I've had them for such a long time they have progressively gotten worse, due to not having the right help i need, but stress and my anxiety has made it worse and because i focus on them too much, which i find extremely difficult to resist them. I'm not sure if they are partially related to my autism as well as my anxiety but sometimes i question if some of the thoughts i get like the unusual one's are related to my anxiety or my autism, as these thoughts are really odd. I very often question if there's something wrong with my brain or if i have slight mental retardation, sorry for using that term, because i can't think of anyone with anxiety or austism who experiences this. I have tried a lot of medications, therapists and psychologists but nothing has ever worked. Please be completely honest even if you think it is a intellectual disability or something that i haven't heard from, as it would help me understand why i get this going on in my head?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 20 2017 at 3:03 pm
Hello Julian,
Having intrusive thoughts is frightening and frustrating for many people who experience them, and they do contribute to anxiety. I would never minimize who you are or what you're experiencing by trying to diagnose you online and based on just a little bit of info. That wouldn't be helpful! I am wondering though, if you have had anyone mention obsessive-compulsive disorder to you. Obsessions are intrusive thoughts while compulsions are behaviors done to alleviate the thoughts (like counting, checking things, etc.). What many people don't know is that you don't have to have both obsessions and compulsions to have OCD. Having both is the most common, but you can have one without the other -- you can have intrusive thoughts like what you've described without having compulsions. Again, I'm definitely not in a position to make a diagnosis. I'm just mentioning this as something to possibly think about and ask a therapist or psychologist about.
Destin
says:
April, 1 2017 at 8:35 pm
Tanya thank you ! This has been plaguing me for so long now, this morning was one of the worst, I was just walking around the house like a maniac trying to find something to keep my mind diverted. Worst thing is there was no reason for me to be freaking out, nothing is happened/going-on right now that could generate this type of panic. But your advice is fantastic. Focussing on a mute object and thinking about the way it's shaped or what it's made out of. It's calming to think about something that has no effect on my bigger picture. Thank you for this, saved me a lot of stress.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 20 2017 at 3:14 pm
Hello Destin!

Thank you for your feedback. I'm so happy that this was helpful to you in the moment. I overthink things and tend to create all sorts of problems that feel very real but aren't at all. Using an object has helped me a great deal -- now it's just automatic. I'm glad it's useful for you, too!
stu
says:
March, 30 2017 at 5:12 am
Great article, its reassuring to know there are other people who have the same things going through their mind, loved the gerbil analogy, although it feels a bit more like a time lapse video running at an extreme speed...think Madona's ray of light video form the 90's...or was it the 00's (sorry its the only way i can describe it). its also accompanied by a constant cacophony of panic.
My anxiety was brought on following a brain injury, along with memory and cognitive issues, which is why its pretty difficult for me to deal with, its like I'm a different person.
I've been taking some nootropics which seem to help with some things.

I agree the video helped for the length of the video lol!
enjoyed the article as well!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 20 2017 at 3:21 pm
Hi Stu,
Thanks for your comment and feedback! Love the analogy to Madonna's video. I'm going to go find that and watch it again. My own anxiety was exacerbated by a TBi, so I can relate somewhat (we're all different, of course). I experienced anxiety before the brain injury, but it wasn't a problem. It became a problem after the injury. (The TBI also led to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.) Feeling like a different person is a common sentiment expressed by people with TBI. The essence of "you" is still there. You're just on an adventure to redefine some things. Including dealing with anxiety!
Becky
says:
March, 28 2017 at 10:49 pm
sometimes overthinking is really hard because I'm constantly trying to find ways to make myself better. But then I overthink things i can do, and i overthink things that I have to do. I'm always trying to fix what's wrong, but then I question it too much that it looks ugly in my brain, so solutions never really help me, because my brain messes up everything I think on an existential level. I can't tell which thoughts are real and legitimate and which ones are not.
Noah
says:
September, 25 2016 at 12:36 pm
thank you so much for this article. I've been dealing with anxiety for a few years now and every now and then I begin to overthink constantly. This article helped me realize that it's normal for people with anxiety to go through this and makes me feel much more serene. Thank you again.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

September, 26 2016 at 12:18 pm
Hi Noah,
Thanks for your feedback! I'm happy this article helped you feel more serene. There is great comfort for all of us in knowing that we're not alone and that what we're experiencing isn't a personal flaw. That's one of the main reasons HealthyPlace.com and Anxiety-Schmanxiety exist. I hope you keep coming back. :)
Stanley
says:
August, 27 2016 at 5:11 pm
I have been fighting with over thinking and anxiety too much, most times I look confused and carried away. Though it helped in the university as I was able to think and stress my brain to solve problems but right now I can't even solve my own problem. It's even affecting my sex life (psychological ED) I'm too young for this, the more I make a mistake with my thoughts the more it gets to me. My brain could just make me think I did what I intended to do even when in actuality I haven't done it, but yet my brain makes me feel so confident that I did it. It's frustrating, this little mistake can make one lose their dream job in future. I think I'm gradually wearing my brain out (I have 4 talents and I'm focusing on all) I can't relax my brain. It's always active think of rubbish, yes I call all these rubbish because it's just getting on my nerves. I wish I could start over with most of my thoughts. How can I fix this please?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 29 2016 at 7:47 pm
Hi Stanley,
The notion of wearing out the brain is a great description of what those of us who overthink things often wonder about. Rest assured, the human brain is amazing and can't be worn out from thinking, anxiety, or both. Sometimes when people have many different things to balance at the same time, such as the four different talents you mention, it can become too much. This has nothing to do with intelligence/lack of it or talent/lack of it. It has to do with the fact that the brain can process a finite number of things at once before becoming stressed. It won't wear out, but it can become overwhelmed. This affects all areas of functioning. Sometimes people find it helpful to chose fewer things on which to focus at once. Also, seeing a therapist can help you manage anxiety. Think of these as a way of resetting, of starting over with your thoughts.
Faheem Khan
says:
August, 16 2016 at 1:51 pm
I have been suffering from anxiety for 3 years. I used to be a happy go lucky guy , but now I overthink. My anxiety started when my blood pressure rocketed up suddenly, I went to the doctor and he told me that I was suffering from heart burn. My heart burn was cured but that illness made me an anxious person. I developed hypochondria after that, I always thought that I would get a heart attack or stroke! After consulting a psychiatrist I overcame my health anxiety. Now I have social anxiety , I feel like people always judge me. I slurr My speech too. For last 3 months I have been thinking about death ...any advice!?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 17 2016 at 10:27 am
Hello Faheem,
You point out something very common (and frustrating): anxiety doesn't always stay the same over time. Often, just as we have our specific type of anxiety under control, a new form of anxiety pops up. When that happens, separating yourself from your anxiety in general, staying mindful in and connected to the present moment, clearly defining what you want in your life (rather than being stuck in thinking about what you don't want, like anxiety), and planning intentional action to achieve your goals and live according to your values are all very effective ways to live well, first in spite of anxiety and then without it. The therapy that teaches how to do this is called acceptance and commitment therapy. This article is a great introduction: http://bit.ly/2bnpW6v . Books are available on the topic, too.

Given that you've been thinking about death, it's very important to seek help. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is an excellent starting point. They are available around the clock, and their number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, where they have information and a chat option if you don't like the phone. Please give them a call or visit their website. They exist for a reason!


(Also, the symptoms of anxiety can definitely mimic heart attacks and strokes, and it's not uncommon for people to fear that one of these is happening.)

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

JohnT
says:
August, 17 2016 at 7:37 pm
Faheem. Keep going. Millions like us suffer from depression and anxiety. Just World and local news is enough to question mankind. I have found keeping good friends and exercise are helpful. So is expelling those negative thoughts as fast as possible.
Keith LeDez
says:
August, 15 2016 at 4:32 pm
Hi. Great article. I have been living with "over thinking" for a long time. My understanding more recently is that a more clinical name for over thinking is rumination. Is that correct?
Thanks.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 17 2016 at 10:14 am
Hi Keith,
Over-thinking and rumination are very close cousins. Rumination involves over-thinking. Over-thinking isn't always the same as ruminating. With over-thinking, the mind takes off, often analyzing <em>ad nauseam</em>. Even something simple as buying a card or an item in a grocery store can involve over-thinking. I've been known to analyze nutrition labels and ingredients lists in an attempt to decide if the item in question is something I should buy; then, I'll analyze the fact that I'm analyzing the label. It's annoying. Rumination does involve this type of over-thinking, but it's tied to mulling over the same thing repeatedly. Worrying over a perceived mistake day and night for a period of time, for example, is both over-thinking and rumination. An animal that has multiple stomachs and regurgitates food in order to re-digest it, such as a cow, is called a ruminant because they chew over the same thing more than once. That's a good way to distinguish rumination from other types of thinking. I must emphasize that I'm not calling people cows! We are higher-order species that have the privilege of ruminating over thoughts rather than food. Lucky us. Hopefully this helps. I'm glad you mentioned this.
Lyle
says:
August, 14 2016 at 9:23 pm
My brain will not stop processing. It is not anxiety, fearful of something, or overthinking a subject. It just starts processing and jumping from item to item. For instance, if I am laying in bed and hear a siren, then it starts trying to process is it an ambulance, police car or a fire truck. Fire truck? Which kind? How is the ladder connected to the truck and how do the hydraulics work to move it around? How wide is the ladder? How many rungs are there? This goes on and on through out the day with various experiences or things I see or hear throughout the day. Makes going to sleep very difficult. Feels like my brain is redlining at full speed. Any suggestions/directions would be really appreciated!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 15 2016 at 12:23 pm
Hello Lyle,

I can relate to everything you describe. I haven't been successful in stopping my brain from doing this, but I have discovered things that stop it from being so bothersome. Have you tried returning your senses and your thoughts to the present moment when you notice your brain redlining at full speed? Reconnecting to what is going on around you, day or night, can be very helpful. At first, it doesn't work for long (and sometimes not much at all), but with practice you can train your brain to focus more on the sights, smells, sounds, and actions around you than it does on overprocessing every little thought or sense. In time, you'll be present in the moment for longer periods of time. Your brain might race off in the background, but you'll be separated from its behavior, grounded in the present, and won't get dragged along with it.
Cindy
says:
July, 13 2016 at 11:25 am
Hi Tanya

Your video is awesome thanks for that, im suffering of overthinking and anxiety most of my life but it has become worse since a person i really trusted got fired at work, now my mind runs wild everyday thinking im doing something wrong to even though i have nothing to worry about i create problems and situations in my head?? Is this normal ? As ive seen on previous comments facial expressions thats the worst for me someone will just look at me wrong and i will freak?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

July, 13 2016 at 1:09 pm
Hi Cindy,
I'm glad you liked the video. Thank you for your feedback! The experiences you describe are a very normal part of anxiety. For years people told me, "Tanya, quit creating problems for yourself." I made so many problems for myself in my head, reading into expressions, tone of voice, little nuances of behavior, what people said or didn't say, and more. I finally realized that this really wasn't getting me to where I wanted to be in life. Lessening the habit (I can't honestly say completely breaking the habit, because I still catch myself reverting to overthinking everything) was a process that took time, but it was well worth it. I began catching myself overthinking or over-analyzing, and then I'd start to consider that my thoughts were wrong. We can't know with certainty what someone else is thinking, so we can't know with certainty that we're being judged. Considering that they might be thinking about something that had nothing to do with me was helpful in distancing myself from the problems I created in my own head.
Bethany
says:
July, 3 2016 at 10:57 pm
Hello, I have to say that your video dud keep my mind off of things while I was watching it, so thank you for that! I have very bad anxiety and overthinking especially when it comes to daiting and relationships! Like it gets to the point to where if I'm not talking to them or not able to get to see the other person for long amounts of time I am completely freaking out.. I hate it so much! And a lot of times times when I am talking to them or around them I still overthink everything I say cause I'm afraid that I'm going to say or do something wrong and scare them away :( , and that's something definitely important early in a relationship like I am, that's the prime time to be your best and make sure things stay great and how you want them!! It's been a long battle that I've been fighting and I'm so tired of fighting it. I just want to be normal and relax and go to the flow but that never happens with me! :(

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

July, 5 2016 at 10:28 am
Hi Bethany,
Anxiety has a way of interfering in life and enjoyment, doesn't it? I've been there, and I can relate. Constantly worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, overthinking everything, and more are exhausting. As far as being "normal," there really is no standard. It's a made-up concept that comes from the fact that everyone wants to fit in and be accepted. You can start to remove that thought from your mind! But it will keep coming back, so be patient with yourself. I have found that two excellent approaches to anxiety/all mental health issues are acceptance and commitment therapy and solution-focused therapy. You might want to consider looking into these to see if you like their approaches. Know that anxiety doesn't have to bother you forever. :)

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Nick
says:
September, 19 2018 at 4:29 am
Wow this is so relevant to me it’s scary!
Frazer
says:
June, 10 2016 at 10:34 pm
I have recently met someone who has quickly become very important in my life and I have taken in love with her. Now whilst all that might sound nice in itself and of course it is I am finding that at the end of each day I am replaying events over and over analysing every detail of our time together. I hate doing this and am trying to nip it in the bud before I get fully into it. It drives me mad and spoils what has been a lovely time. I'm scared that if I don't keep it under control I might loose her. What can I do. Please help. Thanks
Frazer

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Guy
says:
June, 18 2016 at 4:54 pm
Hey man. Honestly, I was in the exact same position. For me, my mind thinks about anything that I could use to think that she doesn't either like me, or her feelings are fading, or anything like that. The best thing I did to counter this was to keep a journal of all of the nice things that she did for me. Any time that a thought came to my head thinking that she did something against me, or ignored me, or anything like that, I just would counter that and think of all of the positive things she has done. I mean why would this person want to spend so much time with me. Why would she have done X or Y or Z if she didn't really like to spend time with me. The journal allows you to permanently mark things down. If you write things down, however small, your mind will start to focus more on the things that are positive. Every time that a negative thought comes, say to yourself that " I am experiencing anxiety because she did X, but I know that's not what she meant. She likes me because of Y, and that makes me happy". Hope that helps a bit.
Ms Bags
says:
May, 29 2016 at 7:15 pm
I have had anxiety in some form for quite some time but never as severe as the last couple of years. Oddly until recently, I had never tied in the overthinking to this. This concern has increased, making me and those around me somewhat miserable at times. My husband was diagnosed with cancer a little under two years ago. He has been through 2 bone marrow transplants but is actually in remission and doing better now. Although i am happy about this and the constant fight or flight feeling has left me, I now seem to be more negative than before with so much overthinking about EVERYTHING. No matter what I analyze everything to the point of finding the negative or worse case scenario. This is zapping my joy and making it impossible for me to enjoy almost anything. this is not good for me or my husband who needs to be thinking positive thoughts to stay better. It's one thing to recognize this in yourself but much harder to readjust your thinking. Any help you can provide is appreciated.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 30 2016 at 11:15 am
Hello Ms Bags,
Overthinking everything is something that can be both caused by anxiety and something that increases anxiety. It's a vicious cycle that is maddening. Your description of what it's doing to you is spot-on. Your keen awareness of this is a very good thing and is actually the first step in overcoming it. You're right that the readjusting your thinking aspect of it is difficult. Know that it's a process, often a slow one, but progressive nonetheless. Working with a therapist who practices cognitive-behavior therapy can be very helpful. CBT can be done in self-help format (there are many great books out there; just a search at a bookstore (off- or online) or library will yield a lot of results), but it can be slower going. That said, there are things you can start right now. Two key things to do: be very intentional about noticing and catching your thoughts and then challenge/question them and replace them with something more realistic; additionally, focus on joy--identify what reduces stress and increases happiness. Do more of that. Concentrate on making good moments throughout your day. Together, these steps are an important part of changing your thinking.
Ann Ketchum
says:
May, 18 2016 at 3:17 pm
I so enjoyed your video Tanya. I am going to try this trick today for distraction and changing my thoughts. I am still reading My Life in a Nutshell. It is taking me unusually long just because we have been so busy lately "downsizing" and getting ready for my husband's retirement. I loved your videos and they were very helpful. Overthinking is so me.......always making assumptions and usually negative ones. They have even caused problems with loved ones and I really hate that!! I bet I have every book written on anxiety, so I ask, why is it still here??? Of course anxiety and depression seem to go hand in hand, so there is that to deal with. I love the website Healthy Place and reading all the articles. They have been, as well as you and your books, some of the most helpful and enjoyable books to read. Can't wait to start Twenty Four Shadows!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 19 2016 at 6:17 pm
Hi Ann!
Thank you so much for your comments and feedback! Everything I write -- articles/posts for HealthyPlace and my novels (that all relate to mental illness/health) -- comes from the heart and from experience. I try to share helpful information, ideas, etc. Like not overthinking. Anxiety definitely makes people, myself included, overthink things. And when you have so much going on in your life like preparing for your husband's retirement, anxiety's games tend to get worse. I hope that the information here truly does help!
gurll
says:
May, 15 2016 at 10:43 am
i overthink death a lot, and the after life. Im depressed and I want to be happy again. Im catholic btw, which is why i keep doubting God and heaven.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

May, 16 2016 at 11:34 pm
Hello gurll,
Death and the unknown of what follows are common sources of fear and anxiety. Then, if we feel guilty for questioning things like this -- like we should just accept what we've been taught -- our anxiety seems to increase, and depression can increase, too. Sometimes the act of giving yourself permission to question and explore can help relieve anxiety and depression. Of course this doesn't completely eradicate depression and bring back happiness, but it's often a powerful first step.
Shannon Hayne
says:
April, 11 2016 at 12:36 pm
I over think everything.. Peoples opinions even their facial expressions " what did they mean by that" when I am alone annylizing what I said or what they meant.
Me and my son are having it hard . hes 17.. I accues him of smoking, drugs etc. He brought the car home full of mud. I have him a speech. He said he was sorry but I kept over explainimg, going on . he said he told me he was sorry . I always think the worst. Working on my atv I get 8 opinions all different and then I'm a mess. I take clonazepam , effexor, Strattera and lithium but it's doesnt shut my brain off. Its ruining me, I'm no longer a people person

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 11 2016 at 12:58 pm
Hi Shannon,

Yes -- even facial expressions! Tone, expressions, posture, positioning; so many things other than "just" the words. You're not alone. Overthinking is a very common aspect of any type of anxiety. How often to you have a chance to check in with your doctor? Sometimes, medication actually makes things worse, depending on the individual person. It might be something to ask your doctor. Share what's going on and how you feel you are changing. Sometimes, adjusting dosages or medications can make a difference. It's definitely needs to be done with a doctor, though, because changing medication on your own, even if it seems like a small change, can be very dangerous. You know yourself and how you want to be. Don't stop pursuing it!
Caroline
says:
April, 9 2016 at 10:44 am
Thank you Tanya, it's helpful to know I can organise myself to put together my thoughts and my physical self before a doctor.
Besides the "override" I have constant nausea, I don't vomit. I snow ready to send a doctor. Thank you again for your help.
Caroline.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 11 2016 at 12:49 pm
Any time, Caroline. Very best of luck to you as you proceed. Good for you for taking charge of your wellbeing!

Leave a reply

advertisement