How to Start Socialising When You Have Low Self-Esteem

September 15, 2015 Fay Agathangelou

It can be challenging to start socialising when you have low self-esteem. Feelings of self-doubt, not being good enough, fear of being rejected, judged, or embarrassed, or believing you don’t belong can all get in the way. Perhaps you don't know where to begin and it may seem easier to isolate yourself.

Additionally, if you don’t have real friends, it can feel intimidating to get out there on your own. However, it’s important that you do socialise even when you have low self-esteem. You need to start socialising in order to meet people, make friends and build your self-esteem.

Tips on How to Start Socialising When You Have Low Self-Esteem

  • Face your fears. It’s important to take action rather than avoiding interaction. The negative thoughts in your head will be talking you out of it, and it’s important to act regardless of them. Be prepared to tolerate some temporary discomfort as you step outside of your comfort zone. Realise that you must do this to grow.
  • Put yourself in situations where there are people. You might want to practice being around people by turning up at a shopping centre or sitting in a coffee shop. For some people, that is a challenging first step. Just being around people might be particularly helpful if you have social anxiety or have been isolated for a while.
  • Join a group. Look for community groups in your area that you can attend. To find them, you might try an Internet search, your local library, community centre, or local newspaper. There are mental health support groups, too, which could be suitable if you’re recovering from a mental illness. It can be challenging to start socialising when you have low self-esteem. Here are some tips on how to start socialising when you have low self-esteem
  • Try volunteering. Volunteering is an excellent way of practicing social interaction, developing your social skills and building confidence around people.
  • Start with small steps. Set yourself small, achievable goals and keep on challenging yourself. For example, the first step might be turning up and the next might be starting a conversation. If you attend a regular group, you’ll get to know people over time, and that’s an opportunity to make friends. The more you practice, the more confident you’ll become.
  • Let go of perfectionism. Forget about getting it right and, instead, think of every interaction as a learning opportunity. It’s okay to be anxious and it’s okay to be imperfect, particularly when you're new to socialising. Perhaps you end up listening instead of talking, or you might not fit into a particular group. That's okay. Give yourself permission to turn up and give it a go. If it doesn't work, try something different and learn from every experience.
  • Stop worrying about what others think. Just be yourself and remember that you’ll never please everyone.
  • Get support. Even when you are feeling alone, there is help available, such as mental health help. It can be helpful to address the barriers that are getting in the way of your social interaction.

Social Interaction When You Have Low Self-Esteem

In this self-esteem video, I share some tips on social interaction when you have low self-esteem.

You can find Fay Agathangelou on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Pinterest and her website.

APA Reference
Agathangelou, F. (2015, September 15). How to Start Socialising When You Have Low Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 14 from

Author: Fay Agathangelou

David K.
February, 23 2016 at 8:20 am

Debz I can really id with you. I have and still am suffering from LSE due in part to one of my parents having an non-diagnosed mental illness.It has basically ruined my life led to ongoing bouts with depression and a long history of addictions and recovery. I also drink to help me become more at ease and sociable.Though it has reached the stage where I don't think there is any reason to go out anymore .Saturday 27th Feb. I turn 53 and have the same dreams as you to share my life with someone.

February, 19 2016 at 1:45 am

I am so anxious that i sruggle to leave my house.
I am a recovering addict 27 months clean. I drank alcohole to help me be social.
My fears of people and of being able to do things right is stopping me from moving forward and meeting new people as well as finding work, im to scared of failingor going blank when asked to do something
I am also ADD which makes it harder.
I am now 50 and time is running out for me.
Im divorsed 10 years and have 2 girls grow up. I really want and need to find a partner to love and enjoys lifes journeys with

Leave a reply