A sure sign of healthy self-esteem is being your own best friend--loving and accepting yourself exactly as you are. This is a bottom-line requirement for strong self-esteem. Often, we only recognize the things about ourselves that disappoint us and pay no attention to our talents and accomplishments.
Relationships and Building Self Esteem
When you practice setting boundaries that protect your self-esteem, you are supporting yourself in many ways. It shows you love and respect yourself, and it keeps you from grief when others attempt to abuse you, intentionally or inadvertently. Whether it's between you and people you love and choose to have in your life or people you must interact with for your job or another requirement, creating a boundary that reflects your needs will strengthen your self-esteem.
A quick story about toxic people and self-esteem: Imagine you decide to plant a tiny sprout in your garden. When it flourishes, it will bring you deep joy. But first, it needs your focus and care to grow. Those who come into your garden and see your sprout give you support and space, encouraging your progress. But occasionally, a different kind of person comes into your garden. Knowingly or unknowingly, they march across the soil, step on your plants, and in the worst-case scenario, grind your tiny sprout into nothing.
When your self-esteem is low, it can really help to do random acts of kindness in the day. Here are some small actions that can make a big difference to the lives of others, as well as your opinion of yourself.
It's hard to feel confident around others when you're feeling insecure or anxious. Many people struggle with finding the right words, talking too much or not enough, which makes everyone uncomfortable. It's very common to feel insecure around new people, in work or academic situations or when you're in the presence of a strong personality. It's possible to feel more confident, even in the most intimidating circumstances, with this quick communication tip.
Building self-esteem in relationships requires effort. People may wonder, therefore, what they will actually gain by digesting all of this information and advice on building self-esteem and changing their habits of thought and behavior. Of course, we should promote healthy self-esteem not just because it changes how you see yourself but also because it can drastically improve your life in so many ways. Let’s focus on self-esteem in relationships as an example.
The habit of seeking approval from others can destroy your self-esteem. When people around you are concerned that you have low self-esteem or that you always harshly criticise yourself, they will want to point out all of your likable characteristics and virtues. These comments may come from a place of care and support and may be just what you need to snap out of negative self-talk. However, there is also a risk of relying on these self-esteem boosts from others in order to feel good about yourself. If you want to gain and maintain a stronger form of self-esteem, it’s vital to determine your own self-worth and to stop seeking approval from others.
Dating with confidence is possible for you, no matter what your history. If you're looking for love, don't let the fear of rejection or insecurities from the past hold you back any longer. Everyone has gone through heartache, and horrible partners and has valid fears about attracting the wrong person. But when you shift your mindset towards the healthy relationship that you want and deserve, you'll feel more confident not only in dating but in every aspect of your life.
You can avoid the self-esteem traps that create unrealistic self-importance instead of healthy self-esteem. You should continue to build yourself up despite possible self-esteem traps because living with low self-esteem has many negative consequences as well. Low self-esteem can make you unwilling and unmotivated to achieve what you are capable of, averse to relationships that you deserve, and it can make you vulnerable to depression.1 In order to protect yourself, it is, therefore, vital to build your self-esteem. However, there are ways that build self-esteem that can end up fostering other negative outcomes in your life, or self-esteem traps. If you want to maximize your wellbeing and have more positive interactions with people, then it pays to be mindful of the self-esteem traps of narcissism, jealousy and resentment.
Rebuilding your self-esteem after a breakup can be tough, as anyone who has gone through a rough breakup knows. During this difficult time, we can end up convincing ourselves that we are the only ones who have done wrong, focusing on – and exaggerating out of proportion – our negative actions and weaknesses. A breakup can lead us to believe that we are without value if our self-worth was tied to the relationship. In order to avoid this distorted perspective, it’s important to take a reality check and learn how to build self-esteem after a breakup.