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Self-Care - Building Self Esteem

Jessica Kaley
When self-esteem is low, we often think we need to work harder and get more done to be a valued person, but the truth is, your self-esteem will grow when you find the beauty of doing less, not more. When I learned this lesson, nobody suffered from me doing less, and my self-esteem blossomed because I was more likely to successfully fulfill my commitments.
Jessica Kaley
This Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, I am focusing on my self-esteem. On this holiest day for the Jewish people, we ask for absolution from wrongs we have done against others, but it is granted only if we first ask those people for forgiveness. Only then can we be forgiven on a higher level. Today I will ask myself for forgiveness for the ways I have wronged myself by allowing poor self-esteem to color my days.
Jessica Kaley
Your journey to stronger self-esteem can take as little as 10 minutes each day. If you feel you have poor self-esteem but don't know what to do about it, try this simple exercise that takes five minutes in the morning and five before bed. Simply by committing to this small amount of time on yourself, you are building healthier self-esteem.
Jessica Kaley
When self-esteem is poor, the risk of suicide is higher, and as a senior citizen living alone, I recognize that I am particularly at risk right now. The COVID-19 pandemic is causing older people and those with health issues to isolate, including me. Isolation can increase depression, which when untreated, can lead to thoughts of suicide. (Note: This post contains a trigger warning.)
Jessica Kaley
I started doing monthly check-ins a couple of years ago when I first recognized that I had a self-esteem issue. Poor self-esteem often keeps us stuck in the past with regrets or pinned to the future with hopes and dreams. My monthly check-ins keep me grounded in the present and give me a realistic view of my accomplishments and productivity level, which keeps my self-esteem healthy. Before I started doing monthly check-ins, I lived with a never-ending to-do list which made me feel like a failure and less than enough.
Jessica Kaley
When life overwhelms you and you have trouble keeping it together, understanding your why will help you get past the tough times and keep your self-esteem strong. If you have a good reason to keep on keeping on, it makes it easier to persevere through whatever you face. But, what makes a reason good? Understanding this point is key in your effort to build healthy self-esteem.
Jessica Kaley
Building self-esteem is hard work. When your self-esteem is low, it can be difficult to act on plans that are specifically for your benefit. It may be hard because you don't believe you're worth prioritizing the effort or that you don't deserve the result you're aiming for.
Jessica Kaley
Learning to embrace change will build stronger self-esteem. Instead of spending energy trying to keep things from changing, I have learned to focus on adapting to change for a healthier self-esteem. To do this, I rely on routines and regular prioritization of my needs.
Jessica Kaley
When you are working to build your self-esteem, try setting one intention at a time. Sometimes when we are trying to change things that make us unhappy, we do really well at making a list of grievances but find it difficult to begin the work. We may become stuck feeling negative because of the number of things we wish were different. To avoid becoming overwhelmed, set one intention each day that will help you build self-esteem.
Jessica Kaley
Building strong self-esteem requires us to make sure we're not masking our feelings from ourselves. A natural extension of that is feeling strong enough to express your feelings to others. That doesn't mean we have to act out on negative feelings by doing things that could hurt ourselves or others. It means that we are not wrong to experience the gamut of emotions. We can work on being honest about how we feel to build our self-esteem.