Get Control of Your Emotions and Respond Wisely

Responding wisely isn't easy until you get control of your emotions. Eliminate problems before they arise rather than reacting to them once they crop up. When you learn to get control of your emotions, you can respond wisely in any situation.

Get Control of Your Emotions - Don't Give Your Emotions Control

Someone cuts you off in traffic and you get angry. Your boss critiques a project you worked hard on and you feel like a failure. We’ve all been guilty from time to time of letting external circumstances dictate our behavior, which is a way of giving up control of our emotional state and reacting unhealthily.

Responding to a situation in anger or despair is an evolutionary mechanism to protect us from danger. But when this becomes our automatic response to everyday situations, we behave reactively rather than proactively. Here are some tips for getting control of your emotions and responding wisely in every situation.

How to Respond Wisely with Emotional Control

1. Stay calm. When feeling overwhelmed by a situation, don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Negative emotions can feed on themselves, so don’t give them any extra fuel. Instead, take a few deep breaths, walk around the block, or take a self-imposed time-out to re-center and calm yourself. Good decisions are rarely made in the heat of the moment when emotions are high. Stay cool-headed so that you are rational rather than reactive.
2. Exercise self-control. When you want to react emotionally, try to maintain self-control instead. While it’s very tempting to yell at someone or self-medicate with wine or food when things aren’t going the way you want, rarely do these kinds of behaviors help the situation. If you can exert willpower to respond in the best possible way, for yourself and for the situation, it will be a little easier the next time you’re in a similar situation.
3. Withdraw from situations as needed. There’s no need to be a martyr when situations are toxic. Value yourself enough to know you don’t have to put up with every person or situation. If your presence isn’t helping the interaction, step away. If you’re around people who drain your energy, step away. Conserve your emotional and physical energy for what’s important.
4. Learn to endure. When things seem challenging or overwhelming, don’t give up. Nothing stays the same for long. The sensation of increasing anxiety, frustration, or whatever is causing your emotional state to rise, will pass. Don’t think your actions are futile. Don’t think the situation is hopeless. Hang in there when the situation seems challenging, because it won’t always be challenging.

If you can stay calm, exercise emotional self-control, withdraw from situations as needed, and learn to endure, you will get control of your emotional state rather than your emotions controlling you. And when you are in control of your emotions, you will respond wisely in every situation.

How to Develop the Habit of Responding Wisely

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Image from Flickr user Maks Karochkin.