How Did I Survive Years Without Therapy?

It is no surprise that I regularly see therapists that help me deal with my past and present. I know now that this can help my future as I continue to heal and move forward into a life that I want and need. However, there were years when I was reluctant to seek therapy for many reasons and constantly lived in a state of anxiety and depression without therapy. 

Why I Lived Without Therapy 

Now, looking back, I can see why I didn't go to therapy regularly. Several factors made it difficult for me, and unfortunately, as these roadblocks stood in my way, my life did not get any easier or better. Some reasons for my reluctance included: 

• Lack of health benefits or extra money to cover expensive therapy sessions
• No spare time to attend appointments while working two jobs and raising kids 
• Therapist office hours that did not align with my lifestyle schedule 
• Trying a couple of therapists and not having positive results
• Not being emotionally ready to see I needed help 
• Being in a depressive state that such that, completing additional tasks besides basic daily activities was too much for me

It's easy to see how a lack of time, money, and resources kept me from seeking the support I desperately needed during that time. Unfortunately for me, things had to get worse before I decided to find help so I could move towards a better situation. 

Therapy Isn't a Quick Fix, Though 

However, even after years of therapy and learning from my mistakes, it is not a way to "fix" me. Now, I can see how therapy isn't a way to fix my broken self but rather take those pieces and learn how to use them more positively. 

Attending therapy is typically not a one-time deal, either. A significant change from within or recovering from trauma, such as verbal abuse, requires long-term mental health care and guidance. I do have times where I may go a month or more without talking to my therapist. Alternatively, after a triggering event, I have doubled up and attended multiple sessions in only a few weeks' time. 

I found that therapy would not be effective until I was ready and open to healing and change. However, sometimes going to therapy helps me realize those areas of my life that need more attention and focus. Regularly attending therapy requires vulnerability and the ability to really examine yourself, which can be difficult.

As I continue on my healing journey, I hope that with each therapy session, I get a little better at understanding my thoughts and feelings and how to move forward in a more positive light for the future.