Living with generalized anxiety disorder or social anxiety disorder can be frustrating. (And isn't that the understatement of the century?)  We work hard to rid ourselves of anxiety, reading articles and books, participating in conversations, learning techniques to fill our anxiety toolboxes, seeing therapists, and more. Take heart: these things work and anxiety can disappear. It's a process, though, and not a quick one. What can we do to get by while we are working on diminishing our anxiety? 

Anxiety is debilitating and sometimes we feel stuck in anxiety but it doesn’t prevent a person from knowing what they want to do. I liken this to a car being stuck in the mud. The car is legitimately stuck, but the driver doesn’t want it to be. The driver is doing everything possible to free the car, so it can move again. Anxiety is a lot like that – trying to free ourselves from being stuck in anxiety – but the wheels keep spinning.

“Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” – Eleanor Roosevelt. Eleanor Roosevelt is one of my heroes for her wisdom and for her deep humanity. I take her words to heart. When anxiety barges into our lives, however, it can be difficult to refrain from turning our back on life. Indeed, anxiety often forces us not only to turn our back but to run and hide safely away. But what we might remember is that curiosity kills anxiety.

For all the success I have had recovering from mental illness, the one thing I haven’t gotten over is my deep hatred for myself. Perhaps “hate” is a strong word; maybe “severely dislike” is a more fitting phrase, but I am not in the business of sugar coating my writing. When I lie awake at night and think about who I am, my anxiety makes me hate myself and that’s okay.

Anxiety can be difficult to live with; indeed, some might argue that is a huge understatement. There are different types of anxiety disorders, and each comes with its unique challenges and obstacles. All of them fall under the umbrella of anxiety because they share certain commonalities, such as excessive worry and fear, disruptive thought patterns, and a host of physical and emotional anxiety symptoms. Anxiety disorders share another trait: anxiety, in general, has two sides.

Social anxiety: we hear the term with increasing frequency. Formerly known as social phobia, it involves the experience of heightened anxiety in social situations. That description, though, barely touches the surface of what social anxiety truly is. Social anxiety relates to thoughts and feelings inside of us as they correspond to people and settings outside of us. Indeed, with social anxiety, both our inner world and our outer one contribute to the feelings of worry, unease, and even fear that can almost paralyze us.

Anxiety is a great obstacle, a jagged rock in the lives of tens of millions of human beings. Anxiety definitely isn't a state of being that most of us would describe as pleasant. It worms its way into our thoughts, tricking us into believing that there’s a lot to fear and to worry about, that we are ruining all sorts of things. Anxiety makes us feel sad, afraid, choked and crushed. It makes us feel miserable in countless ways, and because of that, we want it to vanish from our lives without a trace. But one way to deal with anxiety is to think of life like a Zen garden.

Anxiety isn't funny. It is, instead, rather humorless. When my head pounds and spins, when my chest constricts and spasms in a fit of coughing, when I feel worried and afraid for reasons too vague to wrap my mind around -- and simultaneously too specific to pull my mind out of-- the last thing I feel like doing is laughing. Nothing seems remotely funny. Finding humor can be difficult when we live with anxiety; however, if we can begin to look for humor, we can find that laughter can be a great coping skill. 

Since the beginning of time, people have used objects, people, food, and the like to distract themselves from uncomfortable situations. Children are the masters of this, using their favorite blanket or stuffed animal to reduce their anxiety about pretty much everything. Clearly, the average adult doesn’t want to wander around with a stuffed tiger, but what healthy things can we put in an anxiety toolbox and why should we bother in the first place?

“I want to break free from anxiety!” It’s a common cry, and for good reason. Anxiety, no matter the type of anxiety, can be miserable to live with day in and day out. Frequently, anxiety is a cruel warden, keeping us locked tightly behind bars, veritable prisoners of worry, fear, and guilt. Thankfully, it is indeed possible to break free from anxiety. One of the keys to doing so is to find something to replace the anxiety.