The Truth About Self-Esteem

April 30, 2015 Emily Roberts MA, LPC

The truth about self-esteem is that it is obtainable. Many people don't understand what self-esteem really means or feel that it's based on how others perceive them. They have these lofty ideas that healthy or high self-esteem comes from some magic moment or impossible way of living and thinking. These ideas aren't true and actually keep people from feeling confident or having high self-esteem. If you find yourself thinking that healthy self-esteem isn't possible, this article on the truth of self-esteem is for you.

Learn the truth about self-esteem and how you can change your life with simple and achievable changes understanding these self-esteem truths.Perhaps you are like these non-believers who think their lives are too complicated, or that they have had too much suffering to ever achieve a healthy relationship with themselves. All of this is hogwash, not true. The truth is, anyone can develop a positive mindset and develop healthy self-esteem. It all depends on how much you start to adjust your life based on these truths about self-esteem.

3 Truths About Self-Esteem

The answer is quite simple, yet takes practice and commitment to continue the journey to overcome low self-esteem. You need to look inward and be gentle with yourself. These facts and truths about self-esteem will help you, if you have the will or want to change.

  1. Self-esteem is fluid. It's constantly changing and is influenced by the world around you. The situations you encounter on a daily basis, the people you surround yourself with, and the media you consume all impact the way you view yourself. People with high self-esteem constantly evaluate how they are influenced by the world around them. They take frequent breaks to assess and reassess how they are feeling about themselves based on the outside world, carefully redirecting negative thoughts.
  2. Self-esteem comes from within. Do you find yourself giving your power and attention to others, focusing on how they impact you rather than how you participate with them? Is your happiness dependent on the validation you get from the achievements or attention from others? Do your feel like you're a victim of your circumstances? The outside world is a powerful influence and those who maintain high self-esteem know that the experiences they encounter teach them internal lessons. Others are here to teach you how to look inward and make changes as needed. Sure, others can be mean, terrible in some cases, making you feel less than, or insecure. The work comes from forgiving yourself and focusing on how you can work though the pain to evolve into a more self-loving person. Self-esteem is your relationship with yourself, others are not living in your mind, it's just you, so make it a positive place to be.
  3. Self-esteem comes from love (self-love, really). When you make the commitment to be kind and gentle with yourself your self-esteem skyrockets. It also helps you become more compassionate and kind in the world you live in. Take time to evaluate what makes you feel happy, gives you pleasure or a sense of peace. Every day to do the things that lift you up. Invest in self-care, because it will help empower your capacity to live more authentically, which is a huge component to self-esteem. You can’t be your best self if you put everyone else’s needs first. You have to love and nourish yourself, too.

Make the commitment to try and look at your life with loving lenses, find the truth in hard and taxing experiences and feel complete by adopting these truths into your life. Your self-esteem will easily evolve.

Emily is the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are.You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.

APA Reference
Roberts, E. (2015, April 30). The Truth About Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 14 from

Author: Emily Roberts MA, LPC

Emily is a psychotherapist, she is intensively trained in DBT, she the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are. You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on FacebookGoogle+ and Twitter.

May, 14 2015 at 11:19 am

Claire sorry you are confused. The way this works is that when you try to look at life experiences and ask yourself what can I learn from this, instead of replaying it over and over in your mind it loses value. This is a good thing because living in the past isn't healthy for your self-esteem. For example after a bad breakup I learned (after months of crying and therapy) that I had a pattern of dating people who were unhealthy. Why? Because I put in more effort than them, and I was unable to see that until I looked at the taxing event with compassion for myself. I began to also realize that if I started to focus on what I want in a future relationship, that was different from the last, it was easier for me to move on and feel good about myself. It wasn't easy but it was much easier than feeling bad about myself all the time. Bad things happen and that sucks but they also don't have to hold you hostage and keep you from living a life in the here and now. I would suggest looking at our other blogs too to see if they can help you too. Take Good Care, Emily

May, 10 2015 at 8:50 pm

I don't understand, "...find the truth in hard and taxing experiences and feel complete by adopting these truths into your life." I hope someone out there will explain this to me so I can "get it" and "do it" like it's natural for me. Claire

May, 5 2015 at 10:09 am


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