How I Learned to Love Who I am and Embrace Imperfection

March 20, 2023 Teddy Mbukha

For a very long time, I wasn’t comfortable with myself. During my journey to healing, I quickly realized that it’s a lot easier for us to make friends with strangers than our own selves. It took me such a long time to make friends with myself and slowly learn to love who I am. Now that I’m here, I hope to help as many people as possible find their way to self-love.

Learning to love yourself is a journey that is quite difficult. You must embrace your imperfections to wholly accept yourself as you are rather than constantly striving for an unattainable ideal. Every hurt you have experienced is a trauma wound that needs care to heal properly; only then can we trade trauma for wisdom.

How I Learned to Love Myself for Who I Am

As I have walked the long road to self-confidence, I have discovered a couple of good to-dos that help me keep my head on straight. These practices continue to help me even today; I did say it is a journey, so there’s still work to do.

  • Practicing self-compassion -- Self-compassion has been the hardest to learn but, so far, the most rewarding. Rather than take myself apart every time I experience a setback, I have learned to be kinder to myself. This is still a work of progress, but I’m confidently sharing it because the difference between where I started and where I am now is worth celebrating. I have learned to be my own friend first and speak to myself as I would a friend when they need comfort during a tough time. 
  • Learning to let go of perfectionism -- If you are a perfectionist or have interacted with one, you know just how helpless it can be to try and help them through this. My biggest struggle with perfectionism has been projecting; I wanted everything to be perfect because I couldn’t be. That became a hell that almost consumed me until I discovered it was an obstacle to self-love. It has taken many days of self-reassurance, nights of reading, times when I have backslid, and the immense support of my friends, family, and therapist to get me out of the hole I’d dug myself. When you let go of this mindset and accept that imperfection is a natural part of being and is a beautiful experience, you begin to see your self-worth.

The one part of this experience I keep emphasizing for people around me is that self-love is a journey that will take time and effort. It has to start with you embracing your imperfections; that way, you will develop a healthier and more positive with yourself. Nothing can shake your self-esteem when you like and love who you are.

APA Reference
Mbukha, T. (2023, March 20). How I Learned to Love Who I am and Embrace Imperfection, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 16 from

Author: Teddy Mbukha

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