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It never ceases to amaze me how such a simple thing as a timer or alarm can snatch me away from the very jaws of feeling like a failure in ADHD. It also amazes me how often I forget to use that simple device and end up as Failure's lunch.
I mentioned what remission means for a mental illness in a clinical setting: reduction in specific, empirical symptoms by a given amount. In other words, you are given a depression “score” and remission means reducing that score by a given number. But does that number mean anything at all to the patient in question? If you achieved it, are you "better"? If you suffer from mental illness, what does remission really mean?
Gotta dance? A quick video of my "tap room" and thoughts on "wanting vs. needing" to be active and how I am getting my groove back after dancing started losing the FUN.
As a seriously ill person, I can honestly say that I have given up. Many times. I have lain on my floor praying that someone would kill me. I have taken too many pills hoping that I would die. And yes, I have even cut into myself hoping that I would bleed out. We give up. After years of trying. Years of bipolar medication. Years of side-effects. Years of therapy. Years of doctors. Years of hospitals. We give up. We’re done. But what happens if in one of these moments your doctor gives up too?
One aspect of ADHD that I have by the caseload is forgetfulness. I may not be able to count on my memory, but I can count on forgetting. Unfortunately, I can't count that high. I keep forgetting what number I'm on.
Good Question...Complicated Answer As a big fan of evidence-based treatment of illness, the first question I get is "what does that MEAN?"
I recently went to a friend’s 30th birthday. Christina was happy, making plans for the future, and freshly single after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend. She could have been depressed at the thought of being alone on her birthday, but instead she seemed relieved that she finally found the courage to break up with him after feeling rather blah about him and their whole relationship for the past while. Doug was a nice enough guy, but when it all boiled down, he just wasn’t right for her and she knew it. Christina wasn’t ready to give up hope in finding the real Mr. Right by settling for a Mr. Okay for Now.
Amanda_HP
I wasn't really familiar with avoidant personality disorder until studying up for this week's guest. I came across notes from a mock therapy session with a patient diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder. Reading it, you can get a sense of what it's like living with avoidant personality disorder.
We make the stupidest mistakes in loud and humiliating ways. Who could be surprised that ADHD leads to insecurity? Although I didn't dispute it, I also thought that ADHD had been responsible for helping me overcome insecurity as well. How?
I can feel suicide flicking at the edges of my consciousness. This morning I woke up wanting to die. Before my eyelids fluttered and my logic circuits sparked I knew it was going to be a horrible day.

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Comments

Lizanne Corbit
This is such a beautifully expressed read. I love the whole concept of gently and genuinely supporting your friend. One piece in particular that I have to make mention of is the idea that it is not your job to "fix" your friend. This is something so many of us can easily shift into without even really realizing we're doing, the "fix it" mood. This naturally happens because we care and want to make the other person feel better but what we really need to do is hold space, the fixing can make the other person inherently feel like they are a problem to be fixed, and this is of course not what you're trying to convey. Thank you for sharing!
Lizanne Corbit
I love this read! What an amazing testament to the power of shifting our perspective. I love this takeaway: "When I face difficult situations at work, I feel like I have a reservoir of self-belief and strength because I've seen how much positive change I can achieve in just a few years. " How amazing to look at our experiences with things like fear and anxiety and see the other side of the coin with them (so to speak). I think this is something many people can not only relate to but benefit from. Thank you for sharing your experience here.
Lizanne Corbit
This is such a well-crafted read about something that is so true, but probably not realized by many. The "confession" energy around discussing mental health is very real. This may be one of those things that we feel but don't really put a name to, thinking about in terms of a confession really provides a clear lense for how this can be negative and why a shift in perspective is needed. Wonderful read.
Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC
Hi Laura,
I have found that practicing mindfulness helps me be comfortable not only with silence, but with myself in situations like these. To make it possible for me to pay attention to what is going on rather than on my thoughts about it or on my anxiety and discomfort, I ground myself. You might find that helpful, too (it does take a while to get used to). Try placing both feet firmly on the ground, and notice the feel of the floor beneath your feet. Breathe slowly and deeply (even deep breathing can be done quietly so you don't feel like you're drawing attention to yourself). Don't try to force thoughts, but just notice your feet planted and your body breathing. Then, let yourself find a focal point and concentrate on that, noting shapes, colors, etc. Grounding yourself this way calms your mind and body and allows you to gently turn your attention to the moment at hand. When you catch your anxiety climbing again (as you know, anxiety tends to do that!), do the grounding exercise again to re-center, then return to the moment. The idea isn't to force thoughts out of your mind but to clear your mind so you can be fully present in your moment.
Shirley
You all are my kindred spirits! I’ve had noise sensitivity since birth. I’ve always felt like an oddball. I don’t know anyone personally who feels as I do. I think I’m one of these Highly Sensitive People. I buy foam earplugs in bulk and use when I vacuum, sometimes when I sleep, or when there is more outside noise than usual. Fireworks at July 4 and New Year’s are the worst. I try to find a town to visit where fireworks use is limited or banned. I can understand people using fireworks on these two holidays but the rude people in the community where I live set them off at random other times of the year. People who blast their vehicle audio systems (boom boom boom) are the rudest of the rude. Being stuck at a traffic light with these jerks is hellish. I’m looking for a quiet place to retire.