I dissociate when the pain of bipolar disorder becomes too severe. It happened to be just last night, in fact. I was wailing out into the night about the pain and suffering and willing it all to end (Losing a Battle with My Bipolar Brain), knowing that it wouldn’t, so I just dissociated. I separated from the world. My brain and mind walked away from each other. The pain of bipolar disorder forced me to dissociate for my own good.

I love good things theoretically, but with depression, I can’t enjoy the good things. Most people don’t get this. Most people can’t conceptualize of this. But even when good (recently great) life events occur, I just don’t feel pleasure (Depression Is Not Sadness). I can’t enjoy the good things when I’m depressed.

The suicide of a bipolar online was the news I was greeted with first thing this morning. It was an awful wakeup call. Not a wakeup call in that I was sleeping (although I had been) but a wakeup call in that we all need to be on the lookout of the signs of a possible suicide in ourselves and others. And sometimes I think we forget about this killer. Maybe because we need to in order to survive. But today I want to talk about what happens with the death of a bipolar online.

The idea that bipolar medication side effects suck is not a new idea. I am not the first person to mention this nugget. This is something every person with bipolar disorder who is on medication knows. In fact, when it comes to every medication, side effects suck. The reason why bipolar medications stand out for me is, of course, I take them, but not only that, they are medications that most of us have to take for the rest of our lives. When bipolar medication side effects suck, they suck for a very, very long time, so why take bipolar medications?

Because of the chronic mental illness of bipolar disorder, I have guilt on sunny days; and this really sucks seeing as we’re now into summer. I know this might sound weird to your average person, but I actually prefer a rainy day to a sunny one. Rainy days don’t bring about guilt. Sunny days bring about my bipolar guilt.

Do people have the right to leave mental illness untreated? That is the question of the day. Now, I know some of you are offended by this and are likely saying, “Heck yeah! Of could people have the right not to treat a mental illness!” Well, let’s think about this for a minute. Maybe this doesn’t apply to all groups of people; maybe there are select groups of people who truly don’t have the right to untreated mental illness (Violence in Aurora: Untreated Mental Illness, Again?).

Getting things done when you’re depressed isn’t just about finding time. Getting things done with depression is also about finding brain space. Brain space, for me, is the biggest limiter of my functionality in bipolar (at least partially because I’m a writer). It feels like my brain gets “full’ and then I can’t do anything because I can’t think. Or I can’t handle thinking. Or thinking causes such anxiety that I’m frozen. This brain space limits me getting things done when depressed.

Anger can be tough to deal with in bipolar disorder. Some people really do find they get extremely angry often for no reason other than bipolar disorder. And, as most people know, feeling angry, and even worse, acting angrily, are not positive experiences. Here are some tips on dealing with anger in bipolar disorder.

There is a notion out there that a suicide attempt is a “cry for attention” and, thus, this invalidates what the person has done or makes it "not serious" (The Stigma Of Suicide). I would beg to differ. First off, of course, many suicide attempts have nothing to do with “attention,” per se, but secondly, so what if it did? So what if a suicide attempt is a cry for attention? Why does that make it less serious?

I have found that depression, in my case bipolar depression, amplifies physical pain (Mental Illness Means Physical Pain Too). Yes, depression brings about its own pain, to be sure, but additional to that, I believe depression amplifies the physical pain we already feel in our normal, daily lives. Stubbing your toe hurts, but stubbing you toe with serious depression feels like it could kill you.