It's important to keep calm when others put you down and that means staying level headed and reacting in a healthy way. Being put down by others can trigger self-esteem issues and cause emotional distress, if you allow it. The reality is that there will be people who put you down. Most people experience put downs at some point; and these can come from anyone including family members, peers, bullies or even strangers. The good news is that you can learn to keep calm and cope better when others put you down.

It's important to stop negatively judging yourself to increase self-esteem. Many people are afraid of being judged negatively by others, however, they overlook the negative judgement coming from themselves. Negative self-judgement is damaging emotionally and it leads to all sorts of problems. As well as damaging your self-esteem it can be associated with anxiety or depression. It may prevent you from doing things you want, and it can isolate you from people. However, you can lead a more fulfilling life and increase your self-esteem when you stop judging yourself negatively.

It’s easy to believe you don’t fit in, when you have low self-esteem. Perhaps you feel different to everyone else and think you have to be exactly like others to fit in. You might overemphasise your weaknesses, compare yourself to others or expect too much from yourself. Perhaps you were rejected, criticised or bullied in the past or you may feel pressured to be like others. Alternatively, there may be something different that makes you stand out, or you're new and have trouble settling in. The chances are that your thoughts about yourself are negative. No matter what, it’s important to realise that you do belong, just like everyone else. You can improve your self-esteem when you stop believing you don’t fit in.

Fear of rejection can be debilitating, however, you can overcome your fear of rejection to improve self-esteem. Fear of rejection can affect both your personal and professional life. For example, it may prevent you from socialising, speaking up for yourself or pursuing friendships, relationships or work opportunities. It may cause you to avoid some situations altogether or turn to people-pleasing. Fear of rejection can worsen your self-esteem. It creates anxiety and can make you feel depressed. The good news is that you can overcome your fear of rejection, build your self-esteem and improve your quality of life. 

Why should you stop comparing yourself to others? The main reason is that comparing yourself to others is destructive to your self-esteem. When you compare yourself to others, you might think they have it all together and believe you should be the same. You might treat life as a competition and base your worth in comparison to what other people are good at, their looks, personalities, what they have or what they’ve achieved. You may be too hard on yourself for not being like others and fail to see your own unique qualities. Comparing yourself to others is destructive to your self-esteem--and you can learn to stop it.

Being a people-pleaser is a sign of low self-esteem. If you’re a people-pleaser, you go out of your way to make other people happy. Your choices or actions might be based on what others think, want or expect from you. Your self-worth is probably dependent on the approval from others, and it most likely reflects your personal insecurities. It’s okay to be kind and helpful to others, but to a point. Excessive people-pleasing is unhealthy and it can worsen your self-esteem. The good news is that you can stop being a people-pleaser.

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If you have low self-esteem, the chances are you worry too much about what other people think. You probably place too much value on other people’s opinions and overestimate how much they actually care. It's natural to care to some extent what others think, and it’s okay, to a point. It’s the excessive worry that’s the problem.

Having quality friendships affects self-esteem in a big way. Find out how to make real friends.