Blogs
Recently, Karl Shallowhorn of our Debunking Addiction blog wrote a post called, Am I An Alcoholic? This got me to thinking about another question that people ask: Am I mentally ill?
This is a good question. It’s a good question because, by and large, people don’t want to be considered “mentally ill” so they want to know if they meet the definition.
I know. I know. You might be thinking, "Is she serious? I did not lose my entire memory!" Yes, I am serious and I will work to explain why.
It’s that time of the year again…the 90 plus days that are the bane of existence for most adults with ADHD.
Yes, I’m talking about tax season - when all of our best intentions from the year before can either feel like our saving grace or plunge us into weeks of despair. For whatever reason, taxes seem to combine all of the struggles of ADHD into one fell swoop.
Last year, I shared the common experience of “a week with adult ADHD” to show how even the best of intentions can lead to chaos, putting out fires, procrastination and barely making deadlines.
This year, in the midst of tax season, my thoughts turn to the ADHD challenges that make meeting deadlines so difficult to meet.
As I mentioned in my post during National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, over half of eating disorders in the United States are diagnosed as "Eating Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified" or ED-NOS. It's a tricky thing to pin down, ED-NOS is. The manifestation of this eating disorder is as varied as its many sufferers and carries a stigma and set of problems all its own.
So if I'm diagnosed with ED-NOS - what the heck does that even mean? What does it mean for my recovery? What does it mean for my access to eating disorder treatment?
Insecurity is one of the most cunning and inhibiting ways our minds keep us from developing healthy self-esteem. It’s like a game our ego plays on us to go down the rabbit hole of negative thinking, making it seem almost impossible to get out. When unnoticed or part of our everyday repertoire, insecure thoughts no longer become an occasional lack in self-confidence, they turn into a way of life. Insecure feelings often leave one more inhibited in their life. Negative beliefs can snowball into avalanches, contributing to low self-esteem, anxiety and depressive thoughts.
Getting from anxiety to adventure is not a very far leap, even though it may seem to be.
Looking at things from different angles give us different meanings of the same event. The meanings we give these events make all of the difference in how we feel and think about ourselves and the world.
Though I write a blog on Schizophrenia, I have no clinical experience on the subject. In fact, I have rarely spoken with someone suffering from the same debilitating condition which I am afflicted with. I can only remember a few times that I had a conversation with someone who was actively psychotic. One of these occurred at a local coffee shop in the heart of Cincinnati several months ago when a man walked in with tattered, unwashed clothes and sat down on a stool next to mine. He was convinced that he was Superman and that Republicans were following him and putting ideas in his head. Even to me, these ideas seemed particularly bizarre and I almost laughed. Yet I could not help but realize that I, myself, could have easily succumbed to a similar fate if it was not for the medical attention and care I have received throughout the years.
Recent developments in the field of neuroplasticity prove how your brain is hardwired and genetically designed to heal, change and rewire itself after all types of traumas, including brain injury and stroke. Research also explains very explicitly how your brain changes, which means it also illustrates how you can collaborate with your brain and support it's posttraumatic growth and development.
Last week, I wrote about self-care, or taking care of you while caring for your child, and why it is so important to your child's well-being as well as your own. Many times, we parents leave ourselves for last while caring for our children.
In a culture as deeply superficial as ours it is often difficult to tell the authentic from the false.
It is easy to sympathize with the phonies, poseurs, affected wannabe’s and disingenuous empty vessels passing off pilfered ideas as original, skating past any serious analysis or criticism by others as an ant might slide across a non-stick sauce pan slathered with extra virgin olive oil.
Their dilemma is not unfamiliar. How does one stand out in an atmosphere of mass homogenization where, thanks to the constant recycling of mediocre ideas discarded by others, we are reduced to virtual clones, unable to generate anything original or even recognize originality in others?
Well, eventually, the depression demons took hold and he told me on August 5th 2023 that he decided he wanted to just move to MT and isolate himself from everyone. He had been offered a free place to stay if he did some maintenance. He is very handy and that type of situation was very ideal because it was flexible; he only worked on things on the days he was physically up to it.
We talked every night like "normal" up until he left on April 14th 2023. We had a long distance relationship then and so I didnt get to see him in person often and didnt see him that last week. He told me one last time that he loved me and he was sorry to hurt me and I have not heard from him since. He didnt even tell his parents or sister he was leaving.
I still love him as much as I ever have even though it has been over a year since we last spoke. I just had dinner with a close friend who was always very critical of him because often he would have to cancel plans last minute due to the Crohn's or because he would go dark for weeks at a time. She told me tonight that he is a selfish person and that if he truly loved me he would have gotten help for the depression. Oddly, she has been depressed before and suicidal which you would think would make her more understanding. I asked her if when she contiplated suicide was she selfish? She said yes. I said but are you a selfish person and she said no. I said that was the same for him. Sure him leaving me and his family was "selfish" but at his core, is he selfish? Absolutely not. She thinks because she was able to conquer her depression that if he really loved me, he would have fought his depression. It makes me sad to think she cant see the amazing guy that is buried under the depression. I know, without a doubt, if he did get a handle on the depression, that he would NOT be selfish at all. It is hard to understand why others cant see the true person under the depression.
I hope those that are struggling know that not everyone will abandon you in your time of suffering. There are people out there that see the real you and would do anything to help.
I encourage all those suffering from depression to not only tell your loved ones what you are going through, but also to seek professional help. And for those of you who love a person suffering from depression, have compassion and understanding for their struggle. Know they do not intentionally hurt you and deep down they still love you even if they cant show it.
Thanks for reading.
p.s. I also struggle with depression and anxiety but I did get help and between medication and coping techniques, I am able to be myself again.
From the story you told, it sounds like you know when your partner's alters switch.
I'm sorry this was written in the first/second person. But maybe apply this to your situation with a grain of salt.