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Those of us who labor in the heavily intoxicated vineyards of mental illness, mental health, and recovery – those of us who gaze in wonder at the never-ending inventiveness demonstrated by tormented souls scouring the landscape for new mechanisms of self-injury – those of us who chase the lighthouse beacon of serenity as we pitch and toss on a cultural sea of hazards, pitfalls, and demons – those of us who marvel at a world gone mad, a world intent on sabotaging health, moderation, and self-care at every step – those of us who, wracked by ADHD and overburdened by flashy, empty distractions – are united by one profound bit of good news – this sentence is about to come to an end.
In the Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook, Glenn Schiraldi writes, “Life is feeling. Not to feel is to be dead.” That’s quite a statement considering, with PTSD, our biggest goal is to avoid our overwhelming feelings! It’s a tough conundrum: Coping and managing with PTSD requires you to dampen your emotions so that you can just get through the day. Healing, however, requires that you do feel your emotion – and get used to it. What’s a survivor to do?
One of the problems with psychotherapy (and, keep in mind, I like psychotherapy) is that psychotherapists try to look for a cause for every emotion. And this seems reasonable. Or at least it does, to a person without a mental illness.
When you are first diagnosed with a mental illness you are told--probably within the same five minutes--that self-care is crucial when working to become stabilized.
What is Self-Care and Why is It Important?
Try an experiment:
Of the four pictures below, which do you think is representative of someone with mental illness? There can be more than one answer, but don't overthink this: just follow your gut instinct.
If you’re a regular reader of my blog then you know that my posts center on addiction-based topics. Whether it is relapse prevention, the War on Drugs, or 12-Step recovery, I try to convey a consistent message. This week I’d like to continue by looking at addiction recovery through a different lens: wellness. Wellness is typically defined as being comprised of the physical, spiritual, and emotional aspects of one’s life (there are other definitions that also include social, vocational, and financial wellness as well).
I’ve survived episodes of major depression, mania and anxiety, but none of them changed my perception of the world as much as my three month battle with psychosis at the age of 18.
All mental illness carries its own difficulties and stigmas, but I feel that there is a special sort of stigma that is created by psychosis. Whereas most mental illnesses are hidden, psychosis is in your face, impossible to overlook, unpredictable. It changes you and changes the people around you.
I’m a mental health writer and I have a mental illness, so, of course, I write about my mental illness. I write about my symptoms and the affect they have on my life. I write about their treatments and their success or lack thereof. I write about what it’s like to have bipolar disorder.
And boy do people feel fine about judging me for it.
Commonly people will say that I don’t have bipolar disorder (being, I’m sure, expert diagnosticians) or say that I’m an idiot (and whatnot) for trying the treatments I have. It’s gotten so bad, in fact, that some things I don’t like to talk about at all. People like to attack me for electroconvulsive therapy and vagus nerve stimulator use specifically. And I don’t like to talk about self-harm, because inevitably people yell about that.
But I learned something earlier this week – not everyone judges people with a mental illness.
Let me stress that by "friends" I do not mean you should ask he or she out for coffee or maybe to a movie. Refrain from a discussion focused on the new recipes you thought up and the shoes you found half off on the weekend...
My Experience With My Psychiatrist
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know how hard it is for parents to watch a child with mental illness struggle. Know this: you are not alone. Many parents are in this untenable situation.
Your options are very limited for the reasons you have listed. Your son is an adult and get to make his own decisions -- even when those decisions are heavily influenced by an illness. And while some might disagree, the US tends to fall on the side of personal rights, regardless of illness.
If your son is a risk to himself or others, you can see about getting him treated without his consent. (In some States, this is also possible when a person is at a grave threat of decompensation [getting sicker].) I know this is a hard thing to do, but sometimes the only thing that will help someone is the treatment they refuse.
I recommend you check out the Treatment Advocacy Center. They have a hotline and a lot of information online about serious mental illness and treatment of those illnesses: https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/
I also wrote this piece about the situation when help is refused (not associated with HealthyPlace) and it lists some additional resources: https://natashatracy.com/bipolar-blog/person-mental-illness-accept-illness/?swcfpc=1
Finally, I recommend you reach out to other parents in the same situation. You may be able to find these people through groups like NAMI (just Google them). Knowing others facing the same issues can help.
I hope your son is able to get help.
-- Natasha Tracy