How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection to Improve Self-Esteem

May 19, 2015 Fay Agathangelou

Fear of rejection is a sign of low self-esteem, and it can be debilitating. Want to overcome your fear of rejection and improve self-esteem? Read this.

Fear of rejection can be debilitating, however, you can overcome your fear of rejection to improve self-esteem. Fear of rejection can affect both your personal and professional life. For example, it may prevent you from socialising, speaking up for yourself or pursuing friendships, relationships or work opportunities. It may cause you to avoid some situations altogether or turn to people-pleasing. Fear of rejection can worsen your self-esteem. It creates anxiety and can make you feel depressed. The good news is that you can overcome your fear of rejection, build your self-esteem and improve your quality of life.

Change Your Thoughts to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection is associated with negative thoughts about yourself and rejection. You probably worry too much about what others think and believe you have to please everyone to be worthy. When you fear rejection, you might think that rejection is the end of the world and you may feel ashamed of being rejected.

It’s important to realise that your negative thoughts are a distortion of the truth. The key is to change your negative thoughts and replace them with healthy ones. Realise that everyone gets rejected sometimes. There’s no shame in that. Also understand that it doesn’t mean that everyone will reject you if one person does.

If you do get rejected, know that it’s probably not going to be as catastrophic as you imagine, and you will cope regardless. An idea is to ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can possibly happen?”

Face Your Fear of Rejection to Overcome It

Just like with any fear, you need to face your fear of rejection in order to overcome it. When you have a fear, negative thoughts will be overpowering. They will try very hard to talk you out of taking action and doing nothing might seem like the easier option. However, avoidance will reinforce your negative thoughts and it will worsen the fear.

Fear of rejection is a sign of low self-esteem, and it can be debilitating. Want to overcome your fear of rejection and improve self-esteem? Read this.

The key to overcoming your fear of rejection is to act regardless of your negative thoughts and feelings. Take small steps outside of your comfort zone and be prepared to tolerate some discomfort. Take the risk of being rejected. Know that feelings of discomfort are temporary. If you do nothing, your fear of rejection will cause ongoing feelings of discomfort. What have you got to lose by taking action?

The chances are that you won’t be rejected. However, even if you are rejected it won’t be as bad as you imagined. By challenging yourself, your comfort zone will gradually expand over time and the fear will start to diminish.

It’s important to know that you are worthy even if you are rejected. You can’t please everyone and you belong just as much as everyone else. Forget about what others think and stop trying to be perfect. Pay attention to your negative thoughts and challenge them.

Overcoming your fear of rejection and improving self-esteem will take effort and persistence but you can do it. There’s help available if you need it and there’s no shame in seeking mental health help. When you overcome your fear of rejection, your self-esteem will improve and you'll feel better about yourself. It’s well worth the effort.

You can find Fay Agathangelou on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Pinterest and her website.

APA Reference
Agathangelou, F. (2015, May 19). How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection to Improve Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 22 from

Author: Fay Agathangelou

karma namgyal
October, 4 2018 at 1:04 am

this is amazing. this is very inspired and encouragement. thank you guys. its very helpful for healthy mind and body. I am very grateful for this inspiration and encouragement.
rejection, mistake and failure are greatest your teacher. because of rejection, failure and mistake you can learn new vision, new idea, new knowledge and new dream. Its totally impossible to learn without making mistake , failure or rejection. if you fear of rejection and doing nothing then you will permanently fail but if you overcome the fear of rejection and failure and face the fear of rejection then you can learn and change your whole life. you will get 100% tons of rejection and failure but there is hope and there is possibility to change your life and make success. remember if you fear of rejection and doing nothing there is no hope that you can change your life. believe in your self and never give up. Do not worry about what others think about. do not care about others judgements and opinions about you. do not seek others reaction response. do not seek your validation or approve. your are master of yourself and you are enemy your self.

August, 12 2017 at 12:51 pm

Thanks for this article. My question is what if your primary care-giver rejected you constantly, to the point it affected your fundamental concept of yourself and not being welcome in the world. Can this be changed too? How long does something like that take to shift? Thank you in advance.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 16 2017 at 8:45 am

HI Katurn, Thank you for writing in! This is something that can be healed with the right support, someone or something that aligns with you. Good psychotherapists have training in this. I also like Louise Hay's work. The time it takes to heal is different for everyone and it can sometimes interfere with our lives, but I've seen people make dramatic and beautiful changes with support.
Take Good Care,

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

August, 30 2017 at 7:15 am

Hi Katurn, yes this can I recommend Louise Hay's work and see what you think.
Thank you, Emily

April, 12 2016 at 11:31 am

Thank you for your advice, where can I get mental health for further assistance in around Johannesburg.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

April, 15 2016 at 10:45 am

Hi Pule,
I don't know any off hand however I imagine that if you were to google CBT therapist or psychotherapist in your zone there may be some that come up. Let me know. Good luck

May, 23 2015 at 6:59 am

The fear of rejections is a big part in our daily life. We want to fit in, be loved and accepted. Luckily, these days, being rejected by any one individual will really not have any of the same dangers associated with it as it did in the past.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Fay Agathangelou
May, 23 2015 at 10:29 pm

Thanks for your comment Neil, you've made some good points. People do want to be accepted and loved, that's human nature. Being rejected by one person doesn't mean you won't be accepted and loved by others.
Rejection is certainly a part of life and it's important not to be afraid of it. It's not the end of the world and there is no danger. Too often people carry the fear from past experiences and that is debilitating. It's a good reason to work on overcoming it.
Thank you :)

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