4 Habits That Hurt Your Self-Esteem

There are many habits you mindlessly engage in each day. From getting out of bed on a particular side, to checking your Facebook or Instagram while eating breakfast, or stopping at the same gas station after work. Each day, each moment, is an opportunity for you to do something that builds your self-esteem or sabotages your self-confidence. The more mindful you are, the better decisions you will make for yourself.

Habits That Hurt Self-Esteem

Cassandra was in her late twenties and had been feeling dissatisfied with many areas of her life. On the outside, most people would consider her "put together." She had a good job, friends and a supportive family, but wasn't feeling happy. She noticed that bad habits that used to feel helpful were actually starting to weight her down.

She often avoided getting her mail until the box was overflowing; she didn't want to feel the anxiety of seeing all the bills. Late bills and phone calls about money she owed left her feeling bad about finances. She browsed the web when she was bored at work, but noticed that every day she would wind up looking at an ex's Facebook page, leading to feelings of rejection. After a long day, she would throw her clothes in her closet, which wasn't so bad, if she picked them up once in a while, but she never did. This lead to endless mornings of feeling like she had nothing to wear and running late in wrinkled shirts. Each day started like this: frazzled and feeling frustrated with herself.

These little acts of disorganization or dysfunction may seem minimal, but when Cassandra added them up she realized these smaller actions were part of a bigger issue. It wasn't just "procrastination" or feeling "lazy," these habits kept her from feeling good about herself in many areas of her life. What habits are hurting your self-esteem? (read: Act Opposite to Increase Your Self-Esteem)

Habits That Do More Harm Than Good

When you stop and ask yourself, "What is the function of this behavior?" or "Why am I doing this?" You become more aware of the reasons these habits are hard to break. These habits bleed into other areas of functioning. Maybe you stop at the coffee shop before work every day; the caffeine your doctor told you to avoid and the $5.00 drink keeps you energized but your bank account and confidence are drained. Think of a few things you repeatedly do that may not be helpful. Here are some common ones.

1. Avoiding Adult Tasks. Paying bills is frustrating especially if it brings up feelings of lack of self-esteem and replays messages you received about money from your childhood. The problem with avoiding is the bills pile up and so do the feelings of inadequacy. Instead, come up with a plan to pay bills online or enlist a friend to help you stay accountable. It's not easy, but living within a budget can break through the money or financial fears you may have which are keeping you locked into this bad habit. (read: Behave Like an Adult and Build Self-Esteem)

2. Uncontrolled Clutter. Have you ever looked at your desk or home and thought, "When did I accumulate all this?!" Papers, clothes or even a disorganized purse can keep you searching for stuff, running late and reinforces habits of disorganization in other areas of your life. Clutter drains your energy and dampens your intentions. It's like a mirror into how you feel about yourself; the more you pile it up, the worse you feel. Feng Shui expert, Rodika Tchi has some great advice: "Plan to 'underachieve' instead of 'overachieve.'Start small and time your efforts. For example, give yourself 25 minutes for a specific area, and when the time is up, just leave it. You've done great."

3. Putting Off People. Your parents leave you another voice mail, your old college pal sends you another email (the third one this week) and you have to get back to these people. The more time you put it off, the more it feels like a burden and gets bigger in your brain. It can be exhausting to deal with others but it drains you if you don't do it soon. Call your parents while you are on your way to work or an appointment so you have limited time to talk, or spend 10 minutes getting back to people. Once you get it off your plate, you will feel more confident.

4. Waiting Until The Last Minute. We tend to get a "rush" when we wait to the last moment to do something: order the tickets, pay a bill, or fill up with gas. However, it leads to anxiety and unnecessary stress. The moment you notice your mind avoiding, handle it then or set an alarm to do it when you get to a place in your day where it's appropriate.

Practice becoming aware of unnecessary stress. Like Cassandra, all of us have a few habits that can be broken. She began to put her energy towards positive habits and made an effort to begin implementing small changes: going to the mailbox each Monday and spending 5 minutes each night laying out her outfit for the next day. Break the little habits, but first identify them and assess how much extra stress they add into your life.

Emily is the author of Express Yourself: A Teen Girls Guide to Speaking Up and Being Who You Are.You can visit Emily’s Guidance Girl website. You can also find her on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.