As a victim of abuse, my abuser held me to an impossible standard: "Be the perfect woman in my eyes." Whenever I did not think or behave the way his perfect woman did, then I suffered the consequences (abusive anger, name-calling, intimidation, etc.). In his eyes, my goal in life should be to become the woman he wanted me to be...flawless in his eyes. His perfect idealization left no room to be human, let alone myself! Please...Knock Me Off That Pedestal He often told me that he held me up on a pedestal, above all other women, and when I fell off that pedestal, he became angry. This explanation was meant to excuse his poor behavior; it was not an apology.

When we commit to a relationship, it comes with an expectation of emotional equivalency. If one person is pressured more than the other (a lot more than just mental health issues there) conflict can arise. Anxiety doesn't typically make for emotional consistency but freedom of expression within relationships can help.

November was National Family Caregivers Month. An estimated 65 million Americans care for a family member. Of course, that is not just for families dealing with mental illness; that statistic accounts for those caring for loved ones with other physical and mental conditions, but also does not account for the number of families who are dealing emotionally with mental illness in a member even if direct care-giving is not a part of the picture right now. I had the honor of being interviewed on several media outlets last week, and National Family Caregivers month drew to a close. The "month" may be over, but the job goes on. Here is one interview here, from "Reality Check" on Daytime TriCities.

The first step in recovering from any eating disorder is accepting that you do have an illness that deserves and needs treatment. The next step is finding the appropriate people to guide you in recovering from your eating disorder. That can be very difficult. However, there are different types of help out there and I would encourage you to never give up trying to find what works for you.

Anxiety can motivate us to move faster, but left unchecked it can paralyze us.

If you are an adult newly diagnosed with ADHD, it’s assumed you have been struggling with some level of distractibility, impulsivity and even hyperactivity. These key ADHD symptoms are what help specify and diagnosis the disorder. Less acknowledged, discussed or even know about, are the common inner feelings of anger, grief, shame, isolation and even hope that adults with ADHD experience.

In business school, I slept with my best friend Bob and then proceeded to fall in love with him. As these things go, he didn't return my feelings, we fought a few times then left town without speaking to each other.  A few years ago we reconnected - figuratively and literally - with similarly disastrous results.  Now, Bob and I are speaking again and I'm committed to making the friendship work.  No, I'm not a glutton for punishment.  Rather, I believe that making amends will help me be healthier and better manage my bipolar disorder.

I have said to people many times - your psychiatrist works for you. You pay the psychiatrist. They are your employee. That means you're the one who decides if they are hired or fired. But choosing a psychiatrist is no mean feat as someone who others consider "good" may not be "good" for you. So the only thing to do is to research and interview a doctor - just as you would any employee.

Schizophrenia is considered to be a disease of the mind, yet unlike a physical disease it can be difficult to determine when we are ill.  How then do we know when the disease is taking hold and what to do about it? For me there are warning signs before the onset of an episode.  One common sign is holding the belief that someone close to me wishes to harm me in some manner.  This idea can cause arguments, disagreement and irritability between myself and those around me.  It is at this point of time that I believe constructive intervention can help the most.

The holidays are a time of joy, celebration, family, friendships and spending time together, however throughout the month of December I always am asked for tips, or recommendations to help manage stress and stay present, mindful, healthy and sober. The holidays can be a huge stressor for many; there are parties, gifts to buy, family events, and sometimes it can all be too much.