Blogs
As another (less-successful-than-last-year) school year draws to a close, my family struggles to keep it together without losing it on each other, and my firstborn seems to be moving further and further away from me, I start grasping at straws. Something, anything, for an answer somewhere. A clue. A hint. (Why I think I may be able to find The Big Answer when research teams and psychiatrists much more learned than I cannot is beyond me. Maybe because, having more at stake than they do, I might look harder.)
I haven't found The Big Answer yet, but I have come across some information I believe deserves further examination--the connection between inhalent (a/k/a "seasonal" or "nasal") allergies and psychiatric illness.
As a writer and online blogger, I often wonder about the power of the words. I write about eating disorders and recovery, and hope and pray that my words reach out to people and help them feel less alone as they struggle with eating disorders and recovery. I know it is a hard struggle because I have been going through it for four years, and I have tried to convey both the truth of that struggle and the certainty that recovery from eating disorders is attainable through my words here.
I am honored and proud to have received the Web Health Awards Merit Award for "Surviving ED." I dedicate this award to all those out there who are doing the hard work of recovering from their eating disorders. This blog really belongs to them, and they are my inspiration as I sit down each week to write.
Tomorrow is Judgment Day, according to the followers of Harold Camping. Believers say they will be taken up to Heaven, while the rest of us anxiously await the apocalypse, come October 21 2011.
I have to ask:
If the end of the world is tomorrow, why don't more of us believe it?
Anxiety and ego strength
The answer says a lot about the way people deal with self-doubt, anxiety. And this is just one example of catastrophic, prepare-thyselves thinking.
Hi! I am Kendra Sebelius and welcome to my addiction blog. I am a mental health advocate in recovery from numerous eating disorders, substance abuse struggles, anxiety disorders as well as self-harm. I have been sober and in recovery for several years now, and work to create awareness of co-morbidities in the mental health field.
If you follow me here, or particularly elsewhere, you might have noticed there are some very vocal people who hate me. Mental illness is contentious, and some people take it to a personal level. That’s people for you.
Sometimes I talk about these people. I call them “the nasties.”
But today is not about them. Today is about celebrating all the wonderful, amazing people who support me, Breaking Bipolar and the mental health community in general.
I know that my ex spews hogwash (and even tell him so), yet I continue to allow Will access to me because he may actually have something worthwhile to contribute in raising our sons. Or, at least, that's what the courts and "common sense" tell me.
I know that the courts are sometimes dead wrong and that I cannot use a "common sense" test for a man who is so far from "normal" that common sense doesn't apply to him.
Will I ever get better?
If you suffer from depression you've certainly asked yourself this question a time or two. In some cases, depression clings for so long that we begin to doubt or believe that it really can improve. Sometimes, it truly feels impossible.
Today, while working in our family room, I kept detecting the smell of cat litter (used, not new). I couldn't imagine where it might be coming from and for a moment thought I might be losing control of my own senses--that is, until I went into the neighboring bathroom to throw away a tissue and found, tucked under the sink, a plastic bag chock full of Kitty Krunchies.
This would have irritated me considerably under any circumstances, but knowing less than 24 hours ago I specifically asked Bob "did you take it to the garage trash can AND put it in the trash can?" and he specifically said "YES", I was irritated considerably more.
I've heard too many stories of suicides of people told by their church that their problem was "sin" or the classic "If you just had enough faith..." . These aren't isolated incidents; they're a disturbing pattern. No one should be forced to gamble for their lives or perceived salvation. Religion and spirituality can heal. They can also hurt.
Childhood schizophrenia can be very difficult to diagnose. It mimics other illnesses and becomes even harder to distinguish if alcohol and drug abuse become part of the picture as well. Our guest on the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show, Randye Kaye, knows all about this firsthand.
My point being, I'm right there with you. I hate the rollercoaster. I just want to live life without being in a state of constant fight or flight mode, only for his character to change and de-escalate and I fall for the person I fell for all over again.
Exhausting is a horrible word. The understatement of all understatements, if you will.
I wish there were better support groups for this kind of mental health condition.