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Have you ever wondered if you are an alcoholic? Do you continue to drink despite one or more negative consequences associated with drinking? Do you look forward to drinking? Do you drink alone, and not just socially? Do you sometimes drink to control some emotion? Is your drinking causing suffering for you or a loved one?
This article is a continuation from Multi-Polar - The Many Moods of Bipolar Disorder part one.
Before we were diagnosed with a mental illness we probably spent a lot of time listening. Rather, a good amount of time trying not to listen. As you embark, shall I say, on your journey to mental health recovery, listening to feedback from other people becomes important.
Staring at this blank space, waiting for me to write something, reminds me of my days of abuse. Each day could seem so clean and full of promise - the trick was, I had to expend energy to make it a great day, use my will to write the day full of actions that led me toward my goals and toward a new and better day.
But, unfortunately, I didn't have the energy to create a new day. I didn't have the ability to break the day's chains and move forward. All I could do was sit there and wait for the day to write itself. Slowly, just as the sun moved across the sky, my blank day moved from bright to dark with no help from me.
I'd go to bed that night knowing I'd created nothing grand, never mind improved myself in any way. Never mind improving my thoughts, my plans, or the ability to live any dream. No, my days in abuse were blanks. Unwritten opportunities that could have been something grand if only I'd had the energy needed to progress.
It’s all over now except for the party - three days of brain overload at the NAMI National Convention in Seattle. Still absorbing the stories we’ve heard, the new research shared, the legal issues and obstacles we are trying to overcome, the many ways this community is trying to make a difference.
One recurring theme, for me, has been hearing mental health stories of recovery and resilience. In so many of these, there seems to be a running thread that I believe is also a huge part of our story: LOVE.
The recent heat wave should be of concern to anyone on psychiatric medications because some of them interfere with the body's ability to sweat. More Than Borderline's, Becky Oberg, discusses how to stay safe in the heat.
Stress is an everyday part of life. In active addiction we may have dealt with stress in unhealthy ways. This video will provide simple ways to deal with stress in more productive ways.
Limitations. Limitations. Limitations...? Yes, like any other chronic disease, physical or mental, when you live with a mental illness you have limitations. Limitations you can work to control.
Defining Limitations and Mental Illness
Recently a reader asked me to describe the moods of bipolar disorder in my own words. OK, I thought, but a lot has been written (by me and others) about depression, mania and hypomania before. But then I thought about it and realized that there were actually many moods in bipolar disorder and just saying there are “up” and “down” moods sort of does a disservice to everyone struggling with bipolar disorder.
It started with the heat.
I couldn't eat because I was too hot. That's a good reason. right?
Of course, I could have done a number of things to combat that. Made smoothies. Have salads with added protein of chicken or fish. Splurge on ice cream once in a while.
And I did do that, grudgingly, at first. I got a orange banana smoothie at Barnes & Noble, and felt oh-so-virtuous. See, I am trying! I'm not slipping...I'm eating intuitively.
Then I had a chicken caesar salad at McDonald's. Drizzled a minute amount of salad dressing on it. I don't want soggy lettuce, do I? Ate some of the chicken, a few bites of the lettuce. Ugh, iceberg lettuce! Don't they realize that has absolutely no nutrients?!?
Yesterday, I ate virtually nothing.
And that is the anatomy of a relapse? Or a lapse?
my instagram is @chikinntenders or you can email me @ carolinelijia@gmail.com
Just know that you're not alone, and just because you feel like you should be happy doesn't mean you necessarily are. Sending love <3
Thank you for reading and leaving that comment. I wrote this piece because I know what it's like to beat yourself for not being able to do what the world says we should be able to. I want us all to stop doing that.
I'm honored to help where I can.
-- Natasha Tracy