Blogs
Discovering meaning during midlife can seem like a challenge. Faced with uncertainty about the future and the feeling of having spent years working without achieving anything significant, how can we avoid discontentment, nurture a positive mindset, and turn midlife into a transformative journey? Here's how I found meaning in midlife.
Somewhere along the way, the political correctness (PC) police decided that we were no longer allowed to say that we "suffer" from bipolar disorder. Now, we have to say that we "live with" or "experience" bipolar disorder. If you know me, you can probably guess how I feel about that. I feel it's ridiculous. It puts unnecessary rules on language, which, as a writer, I despise, but perhaps more importantly, it genuinely denies people's legitimate experience of a serious mental illness. I suffer from bipolar disorder, and I think it's okay to say it.
My psychiatric nurse practitioner is reducing my anti-anxiety medication for my upcoming knee surgery when I will be on painkillers. She says long-term use of an anti-anxiety medication can cause cognitive impairment. My therapist says it’s addictive, which I already knew from decades of using it on an as-needed basis. Here's what reducing my anti-anxiety medication has been like.
Anytime a relationship includes verbal abuse, there are complications. The dynamics between individuals involving power and respect will skew, making it challenging to recover. Although some relationships can bounce back using therapy and adjusting to corrective behaviors, others will not. Relationships with verbal abusers will always be challenging.
Anxiety can be related to the season. When I was younger, I remember that when summer started to turn into fall, the days ended, and nights started earlier, and the weather began to get cooler, I would experience a change in my mood that I now recognize was related to my anxiety. I would often find that I felt down and unsettled, and this overall feeling of discomfort that I sometimes couldn't attribute to anything in particular. I didn't realize that the season changes contributed to my anxiety.
"Live one day at a time" is one of my mantras in life. As an individual diagnosed with mental illness (double depression and generalized anxiety disorder), it is harder for me than people without mental illness to live by this mantra. Here's why living one day at a time is hard for people with mental illness.
Admitting that I miss my manic symptoms has been difficult. A large part of my mental illness recovery has been fueled by the desire to get better. I continuously work towards recovery, but I still face guilt when I find myself missing the symptoms experienced from my manic episodes as someone with bipolar disorder.
Mental health stigma can affect one's self-esteem. Mental health conditions are a common yet often misunderstood aspect of human life. Despite their prevalence, the stigma attached to these conditions remains a formidable obstacle for those who bear such diagnoses. Negative stereotypes, discrimination, and social isolation experienced by individuals with mental health diagnoses can severely affect their self-esteem. In this post, we will explore the practice of defying the stigma surrounding mental health, emphasizing its role in nurturing self-esteem in those who carry such labels.
Feeling safe after enduring trauma or developing posttraumatic stress disorder (PSTD) can be a challenge. Growing up, I had a persistent uneasy feeling in my gut that manifested as a constant stomach ache. After being sexually assaulted by another (though older) child, I found myself unable to feel at ease in my own body. I worried not only about my personal safety but also my family's — especially since the boy threatened to hurt me and my loved ones if I told anyone what he did to me. Feeling safe with PTSD turned out to be very hard.
There is a specific psychology to gambling addiction. Millions of people worldwide grapple with gambling addiction and its profound impact on their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Over time, many things have been explored as causes of gambling and what makes it addictive. As someone who has battled this addiction, I looked into the psychological side of things, covering everything from cognitive biases to genetics and heredity.
When living with severe depression, it is so difficult to see any positivity about ourselves or the world we live in. I have been in very similar shoes as you. However, nothing will change until we initiate a change, even if it means taking our cognitative distortions and untwisting them. Healing/recovery takes a lot of time and practice - it is a lifelong journey. Unfortunately, there's no magic wand out there to make everything better about ourselves and the world (if only...).
One thing that keeps me going is taking life ONE DAY AT A TIME. I wear a bracelet with those exact words to remind me when I start down a dark road. One day at a time... because that is all I can expect of myself, and it's all that others can expect of me. I know it sounds cliche, but you genuinely are not alone or alone in how you feel.
Also, check out the resources and assistance at https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/suicide/suicide-suicidal-thoughts-and-behaviors-toc
We continued talking and I learned a lot more. His husband had cheated on him and he was heartbroken. They live in the same condo in separate bedrooms and were basically married on paper only. Since I was already developing feelings for him, I allowed our relationship to continue. We’ve since spent a lot of time together on dates, he met my family at Christmas, etc.
In January, we chatted and I said, “Ok, what’s the plan?” and he freaked out. While he says he loves me, and does not love his husband, he’s stuck and doesn’t know how to move forward. His therapist says he needs to go to the doctor for new meds and hasn’t. And now it’s been three months of basic texting good morning and good night, and we don’t see each other and don’t talk on the phone.
Do I just move on at this point? Every time I try to talk about us and our relationship, he just shuts down or doesn’t respond.
Help! Thanks.