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I know I’ve been writing a lot about my knee troubles, and I’ve even shared that I have early signs of arthritis in my knees. But it didn’t hit me until I saw my orthopedic doctor again, and he confirmed I have osteoarthritis of the knee. “Osteoarthritis” is one of those words I’m going to have to get used to, just like “schizoaffective” was so many years ago. But looking back on how I handled my transition to a new schizoaffective disorder is helping me grapple with this new diagnosis, which arrived just in time for my 43rd birthday.
Telling yourself to stop feeling guilty for self-harm is like trying not to think about pink elephants. It feels like you can't help it, and the harder you push it away, the tighter it seems to grip onto your gray matter. But believe it or not, you can move past guilt and finally begin to heal.
As a 2014 graduate, I believed that finding a reasonably good workplace was difficult, not impossible. Thanks to reviews on websites like Glassdoor and Quora, one could figure out if a workplace was healthy or not. One could even reach out to employees via LinkedIn or email if they wanted to be doubly sure. Today, I think these are no longer reliable ways to assess an organization. I now believe that there is no way to know how a company is beforehand. One has to work there first. 
I've struggled with feeling like I'm too self-confident in the past. I have often felt like I was too proud and that it didn't come off well to others. As I learned more about myself, I realized that not knowing the difference between high self-esteem and conceit was potentially a factor in lowering my self-image.
Body dysmorphia is a mental health condition that will impact an estimated one in 50 people over the course of a lifetime.1 In some cases, those with body dysmorphia also suffer from eating disorder behavioral patterns such as caloric restriction, compulsive exercise, binge-purge cycles, or obsession with weight. The earliest signs of body dysmorphia often manifest in adolescence,2 and anyone can be at risk—no matter their gender pronouns, sexual orientation, body composition, or ethnic background. Here is what you should know about body dysmorphia in case you (or a loved one) are exhibiting symptoms of this mental illness.
Mental health labels and humans go together like unicorns and glitter. Some see the union as innocent and natural. Others see a mystical creature that doesn’t exist and tiny pieces of plastic headed for the ocean. Labels can free you, and they can chain you.
They say there's an app for everything. I certainly have dozens of apps on my mobile devices that provide access to whatever I need at my fingertips. I recently started using an app to track my moods as a means by which to map the ups and downs of my anxiety.
Thanks to my attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), I often started exercise routines, hobbies, and projects before abandoning them shortly afterward. I used to rue missed opportunities to achieve proficiency in different disciplines, so I vowed to pick a hobby and stay the course. I picked exercise three years ago, and three years later, I'm happy to report I've stayed the course.
Something I've learned about my anxiety is that sometimes, instead of being consumed by worries about the future, it is possible to be overwhelmed by the past to the point that my memories trigger anxiety symptoms.
Last weekend I was able to spend a special day with someone I love. We went to town, snacked on sweet corn empanadas, and ended the day with dinner and drinks. The next day, I decided to bake all afternoon for fun. It was a weekend of enjoyment and indulgence. That's when I noticed that something had changed in the way I feel about food, and myself since I started my recovery from binge eating disorder (BED). I was able to settle into the moment and allow myself to enjoy and savor instead of feeling guilty about indulging. 

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Comments

Mahevash Shaikh
Glad you got it back :)
Thanks for giving me hope, Lizanne.
Elizabeth Caudy
Dear Kathryn, Thank you for your comment. I'm sure Ellie appreciates it. Best, Elizabeth
Liana M. Scott
Hi Amber, thank you for your comment. I'm so sorry to hear you are experiencing these difficulties. That must be very tough to deal with. I would recommend talking about it with an adult you trust as soon as you can. You could also try a school counselor or a helpline. An easy way to get to a helpline is by dialing 988. You can also find a list of helplines and resources here: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources
I hope this helps. Please take care.
Liana M. Scott
Kim Berkley
Hi Paula,

I'm sorry to hear you had such difficulty as a child. If the scratching has started up again, you may wish to consider getting professional help this time. You can always call the lifeline (now at 988) and ask for any resources they may have, or check our resources page here:

https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources

I hope that helps. Take care, and good luck.

Sincerely,
Kim