Blogs
Mood journaling for people with depression, which simply means keeping a log of your moods, has many benefits. The act of transferring your feelings to paper can be therapeutic, taking bottled-up emotions out of your head and lightening your emotional load. Practicing writing your feelings down can help you better communicate them to your friends, family, or therapist. And looking back through your depression mood journal entries can help you identify trends, triggers, and possible treatments.
I want to make it clear that my identity is not just related to my schizophrenia. For nearly seven years, during my thirties, I lived almost schizophrenia and anxiety symptom-free. It was before I developed an anxiety disorder, and shortly after the period where I became treatment compliant and took my medication every day. I look back at that time as remarkable.
I've encountered an unexpected companion in borderline personality disorder (BPD) recovery. That companion is grief. It's like saying goodbye to that fun (and toxic) best friend who used to call the shots in my life. Embracing the unknown and forging my own trail is a bit intimidating, especially when BPD's been riding shotgun for way too long. Grief in BPD recovery is making itself known.
I'm someone who is always extremely anxious to reach an "end goal." This often makes it difficult to be mindful and appreciative of the steps and paths it took to achieve that goal. In recovery, it can be difficult to appreciate what life offers, but each step in life is its own gift, and enjoying the journey can be even more meaningful than reaching the destination. There is a mindful quote that helps me appreciate the journey.
For most people practicing an alcohol-free lifestyle, there will eventually be an alcohol-centered party or event worth attending. Concerts, weddings, and holiday gatherings can be tricky, but not impossible, to navigate as a sober person. One thing that has helped me stay alcohol-free on a boozy night out is to redefine success.
Some who have struggled with childhood trauma might develop maladaptive daydreaming as a coping mechanism. For example, when I was only four, I endured child-on-child sexual assault and emotional abuse that made me feel isolated from the rest of the world. It felt too terrifying and heavy to be in the real, present moment. Any time I was still or not distracted, I felt extreme anxiety, panic, and sadness. This led to my development of maladaptive daydreaming — a habit I am still actively trying to break as an adult today.
Seasonal changes affect my mental and physical health in various ways, particularly during the hottest and coldest months of the year. The effects have ranged from fatigue and irritability during summer to depression in winter. Fortunately, there are ways to manage these seasonal changes and maintain balance.
Support groups have helped me a lot with my schizoaffective disorder over the years. Here are some ways support groups have been beneficial. (Note: this post contains a trigger warning.)
I've dealt with anxiety for a long time, and I've gotten to a point where I can recognize the symptoms of it. The problem is that sometimes anxiety happens for no apparent reason. When this happens, it's hard not to attribute it to something happening at the time. But sometimes, there really is not anything to attribute it to, and so, trying to problem-solve to help reduce any symptoms related to anxiety becomes difficult.
I was thinking back to my high school days. In particular, a memory of a talk in the school hall about the danger of harder drugs told by a recovering addict. That's where the term "gateway drug" became part of my vocabulary, specifically in relation to cannabis. This gateway drug idea was true on my part -- I firmly embraced the culture of marijuana at a young age. But my first drug encounter was with alcohol at the tender age of 13.
Thank you for reading and leaving that comment. I wrote this piece because I know what it's like to beat yourself for not being able to do what the world says we should be able to. I want us all to stop doing that.
I'm honored to help where I can.
-- Natasha Tracy
Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear of your struggles and wish you peace, good health, and contentment. Please take care of yourself.
PS I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
.
I cannot thank you enough for writing this piece, Natasha.