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Have you ever noticed how an abusive relationship makes you miss out on life? While thinking about what to write for this week's post, I became fixated on the fact I never got to see George Carlin perform live. I had the tickets, I was ready to go, but at the last minute, I decided to back out. It may seem insignificant, but missing his show over 10 years ago triggered an internal change that bettered my life. I learned to stop missing out on life, and it's all thanks to my narcissist.
The miracle question might just be one of the most powerful tools you can use to overcome anxiety and creating the quality life you want to live. The concept comes to us from solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT), but versions of it were used in older theories of counseling too. It's a question that on the surface is deceptively simple, but when you explore it more deeply, it becomes more than a question. It becomes an answer. Put on your explorer clothes, and let's examine the miracle question so you can use it to overcome anxiety. 
I thought I would offer a snapshot of a day into my life with borderline personality disorder (BPD). This account is of a day when my BPD was neither calm nor at crisis level, but was moderate in strength. There is no such thing as a typical day in my life with borderline personality disorder due to the intense and quickly changing emotions associated with this condition.
I have been asked recently, "Can I voluntarily give myself dissociative identity disorder?"  For most of us with dissociative identity disorder (DID), our first reaction is to wonder why anyone would ever want to develop a disorder that can be so challenging, if not debilitating. The truth is, however, I have shockingly come across individuals inquiring how they can develop the disorder. Well, the answer to whether you can voluntarily give yourself DID is unequivocal.
Healthy self-care is such an essential part of mental health, and it seems everyone is striving to up their self-care game. Here's the thing though -- sometimes when we think we are practicing self-care, we are just numbing out. It can be tough to tell the difference, but if you know the signs, you can make sure you are practicing healthy self-care.
I learned that relationships in depression are so important when my doctor prescribed prednisone to treat my autoimmune disease. Although he talked about its side effects, he failed to include depression as one of them. The first time I took the drug was an unpredictable blow that wreaked havoc on my life and my relationships.
I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder type II for five years. Last year, I found out the diagnosis was incorrect. Before I realized I'd been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, it really did seem like the most accurate diagnosis. However, as time passed and I learned more about myself and about mental health in general, it became clear that bipolar was not the right diagnosis for me. Looking back, I can pinpoint three reasons I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder.
One of the ways mental health stigma is spread is through negative labels and name-calling those with a mental health condition. This can happen no matter where a person falls on the mental health spectrum, whether they have a manageable or severe mental illness, but in all cases, calling people with a mental illness names not a helpful solution to mental illness.
Take a deep breath for anxiety right now, then ask yourself how many times you took a deep breath today. What about this past week? I've been engaging in self-reflection about my breathing this past week, and I was surprised to find that I had no idea how many deep breaths I'd taken. I enjoy meditating and have found deep breathing helpful for staying calm when I'm handling a lot of stress, but I haven't made a conscious effort to breathe deeply in recent weeks. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became that deep breathing is not just a great way to relax, but our breath is how we communicate with our anxiety. 
I’m Katlyn, (sometimes Kat) Brinkley, and I’m excited to write for "Verbal Abuse in Relationships" at HealthyPlace. I want to share some of my thoughts and hopefully influence those of readers. I think verbal abuse can take many forms, and it’s important to recognize what unhealthy can look like in relationship dialogues. It’s my experience that while no relationship is perfect, repeated issues that involve one partner hurting the other without improvement, can result in significant, long-term emotional strain.

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Comments

Elizabeth Caudy
Thank you for your comment. If I understand you correctly, I need to say that the voices I hear are not a gift. There is nothing mystical about them. They are a symptom of my schizoaffective disorder. That is all they are.
Elyah
I thought about this response before I chose to type it out. I understand both the desirable need, as well as the fear, of the unseen worlds. Do not fear them, accept it for what you know it is, and ask for help from the benevolent beings. Not the ones that tell you you're unworthy, that you can't make it, that you're insignificant to this world. Ask for guidance from the ones that guide you to eating healthy food, building your strengths and skills and loving yourself. You're special and you have a gift. Using it appropriately and harnessing that gift, could be a lifelong journey.
QT
It sounds as though you may have suppressed some painful feelings in order to have your girlfriend back in your life. It's best to deal with it in some way, like writing her a letter about your feelings.
Laura Barton
Hello Leif. Thanks for taking your time to share these thoughts. I know it's not always easy to bare our souls like this. I'm not the author that wrote this blog (he was my partner blogger for this section of HealthyPlace), but I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I hear you and your thoughts and feelings are valid.

It can get overwhelming when things can't seem to sort themselves out in our heads and we feel like we just can't quite do anything. I think the fact that you're recognizing these signs of struggle in yourself is important and I encourage you to reach out to your local resources to explore the help options available. I know what it's like to have thoughts of ending your life running through your head—I get that way, too. If you're ever at a point where you feel like you can't escape it, please know there are resources available. We have a great list of the available suicide hotline numbers here on our website. I've grabbed you the link: https://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/suicide-hotline-phone-numbers. We also have a page of other resources you can consider to help you with your struggles: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/.

Just know that you aren't alone in this struggle and that you're worthy of help. Don't be afraid to reach out.
Danielle w.
I left my abuser 5 months ago with my 5 year old daughter. She is handling things fairly well but i am feeling like i at war with myself. I am an outgoing fun girl to loves to hang out and go out and have people over for dinners and what not ,but this side of being cautious hesitant and a bit scared or mistrusting is in the way and im trying to break the chains. The stronger side of me says it wont defeat me and yet im still being pulled back by that part of myself that wants to hide away. I want to make friends and invite ppl over and introduce to my kid as well in time but cant seem to get there. I dont feel like friend or family understand fully and no way of talking to a theropist or counciler.How can i win this fight against myself?