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I’ll never forget the first time I was prescribed medication for my mental health. At this point in my life, I was undiagnosed and had suffered a panic attack. At a loss, I met with my primary care physician for help. After a brief consultation, she sent me home with a prescription for a common selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). I did not know that this would be the first of many medications I would take on my healing journey.
"Why are you writing about binge eating disorder recovery?" my boyfriend asked the other day. "Did you have a problem with it when you were little?" A blanket of shame due to binge eating disorder wrapped itself around my body, weighing me down like lead. I felt my face contort into a half-cringe, half-grimace. A familiar knot formed in my stomach — he didn't know, and now I was going to have to tell him.
Two years ago, I went through a breakup with my therapist. I ghosted my therapist when I began to suspect we weren't a good fit. I started small, canceling an appointment here and there. Then I went on vacation. When I came back, I "forgot" to get in touch. But when she reached out, I felt guilty. I scheduled a session. But a few weeks later, I repeated the cycle. Finally, she stopped reaching out. We were done.
Trying new foods and eating disorder recovery went hand and hand for me. For years, my eating disorder had me believing that there were only a handful of foods that were good and the rest I needed to avoid like the plague or I'd gain weight. However, this thinking was holding back my recovery.
I am learning that weight gain in my recovery from depression and anxiety acts as a trigger for those disorders. Last November, I had a baby and I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant. I knew I wouldn't return to my old size right away, but I assumed it would happen after a few months.
In my life, I have become accustomed to experiencing anxiety. Depending on my current life situation and the experiences I'm going through, it might be worse, or it might be better.
Mindfulness activities like the R.A.I.N. method is not an instant cure for self-injury, but with practice, it can help you control your self-harm urges. Think of it as a yoga exercise for your mind -- if you show up regularly, you will get stronger, more resilient, and more in control of your feelings.
Privilege has a role in overcoming mental health stigma, although it's not often at the forefront of our conversations in this sphere. I hadn't thought about it until recently, but when I mull over it and think about the many ways that privilege manifests, I can absolutely see privilege's role in overcoming the stigma around mental health.
The murder of George Floyd sparked an unprecedented civil rights movement and has changed our country dramatically.  The face of the Internet has been completely reshaped, and discourse about racism is at the forefront of all of our conversations. Sometimes, especially for the mentally ill, the amount of information whizzing by is overwhelming.
Everyone's thoughts on birthdays differ. For some people, getting older is scary. For others, getting older is exciting. Turning a new decade can come as a major shock. After you turn 20, you will never be a teenager again. After you turn 30, you will never be in your 20s again. Entering a new decade of your life can be emotional for many reasons. To learn about my feelings regarding birthdays and entering another decade, read this article.

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Comments

Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC
Hi Lizanne,
Yes! Anxiety can very much be like a guide, and the bumps on a freeway is a great metaphor! I love this insight.
Hani
Anxiety has caused me push my love ones away because I cannot see them having to deal with me, my outburst, my unstable emotional bouts. I'm still dealing with it and I really wish I can be away from everyone.
Mahevash Shaikh
Always lovely to read your insightful thoughts, Lizanne. Yes <3
Ashley
Don’t argue with her be the one to walk away let her stay wherever she is as long it’s not in public and there are no items she can harm u or herself with. She will eventually come down or up. Don’t insult her she ll feel bad enough for putting you through it. Watch her carefully for the next few days tell her u love her and the right meds will come around let her know your there if she needs to cry or laugh or talk emotional stability is what she needs somebody to ground her in a emotional supportive way.
TJ DeSalvo
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.