advertisement

Blogs

What is your inner GPS? Some call it intuition. Others call it a "gut feeling." No matter the label, we all have an internal GPS that guides us. But what happens when your inner GPS is recalibrated to someone else's objectives? This recalibration is the result of a verbally abusive relationship. The abuser will work their magic to undo our self-trust and put that trust into their hands. When this happens, we feel as though there is no place to turn, and the minute we get lost, the recalibration begins.
My relationship with sex after trauma hasn't been a good one. You see, when I was 16, I got drunk at a concert. On the train ride home, I drifted off. When I woke up, a stranger's hand was in my underwear. I pushed his hand away and he sped into the next train car. My reaction was a feeling of shame; I blamed myself for the sexual assault. I shouldn't have gotten drunk; I shouldn't have worn a skirt; I should have been more responsible. With the support of my parents, I eventually reported the incident, but the shame remained.
Bad mental health days hurt, in no small part because they make me feel so alone. It's hard for me to ask for help, but I'm trying to get better at it because it turns out, having some support can make a world of difference on bad mental health days.
Some people say I'm negative about bipolar disorder. Some people say that calling my bipolar disorder a chronic illness and anticipating the awful effects of bipolar disorder to come is negative. I disagree. I feel that I'm realistic about my own bipolar disorder. Being negative about bipolar disorder is different. 
The stigma surrounding drug addiction can be just as pervasive as drug addiction itself. It's important to realize that spreading drug addiction stigma doesn't address the overall issue of drug addiction or to people recovering from the illness.
I was experiencing my first taste of schizoaffective depression 25 years ago, in the summer of 1994, when I was 15 years old. It was nothing compared to the depression I’d experience later in life, and I didn’t even realize there was a schizoaffective disorder aspect to it, but I knew something wasn’t right.
One of the worst things about being verbally abused by parents is that the damage can be lifelong, yet it can take a lifetime for someone to recognize the pattern of abuse they experienced.
My name is Jennifer Carnevale, but you can call me Jenn with two Ns and I’m the new author of Verbal Abuse in Relationships. I’m a high school English teacher, writer, traveler, tattoo enthusiast, and podcaster. Most importantly, I’m a recovering addict--10 years clean. My drug addiction began at 17 years old after a routine tonsillectomy when I was given a large bottle of a liquid opioid. The medication sent me into a downward spiral through anxiety, abuse, assault, and more. But after a decade of self-work, I am presented with this opportunity to share my stories on HealthyPlace. I get to help others leave the dangerous situations I was in and steer people away from the tell-tale signs and symptoms of verbal abuse. Gratitude is flowing from my heart.
Constructive criticism and depression: Many of us with depression tend to be sensitive and may find it difficult to accept constructive criticism. There are times, however, when we need to hear some constructive feedback from people who love us and have our best interests in mind.
There are five types of fear I associate with psychosis. Although, since my diagnosis 15 years ago, I have often been told that my illness doesn't define me, it's hard to separate myself from the types of fear psychosis brings out in me. Having schizoaffective disorder has had a huge impact on how I see and feel about the world around me, particularly when experiencing psychosis. My psychosis primarily consists of auditory and visual hallucinations which are sometimes terrifying. Experiencing hallucinations has felt differently pre- and post-diagnosis. Here are five different types of fear I've felt with psychosis. Good or bad, these fears have been an important part of my life story.

Follow Us

advertisement

Most Popular

Comments

Elyah
I thought about this response before I chose to type it out. I understand both the desirable need, as well as the fear, of the unseen worlds. Do not fear them, accept it for what you know it is, and ask for help from the benevolent beings. Not the ones that tell you you're unworthy, that you can't make it, that you're insignificant to this world. Ask for guidance from the ones that guide you to eating healthy food, building your strengths and skills and loving yourself. You're special and you have a gift. Using it appropriately and harnessing that gift, could be a lifelong journey.
QT
It sounds as though you may have suppressed some painful feelings in order to have your girlfriend back in your life. It's best to deal with it in some way, like writing her a letter about your feelings.
Laura Barton
Hello Leif. Thanks for taking your time to share these thoughts. I know it's not always easy to bare our souls like this. I'm not the author that wrote this blog (he was my partner blogger for this section of HealthyPlace), but I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I hear you and your thoughts and feelings are valid.

It can get overwhelming when things can't seem to sort themselves out in our heads and we feel like we just can't quite do anything. I think the fact that you're recognizing these signs of struggle in yourself is important and I encourage you to reach out to your local resources to explore the help options available. I know what it's like to have thoughts of ending your life running through your head—I get that way, too. If you're ever at a point where you feel like you can't escape it, please know there are resources available. We have a great list of the available suicide hotline numbers here on our website. I've grabbed you the link: https://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/suicide-hotline-phone-numbers. We also have a page of other resources you can consider to help you with your struggles: http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/.

Just know that you aren't alone in this struggle and that you're worthy of help. Don't be afraid to reach out.
Danielle w.
I left my abuser 5 months ago with my 5 year old daughter. She is handling things fairly well but i am feeling like i at war with myself. I am an outgoing fun girl to loves to hang out and go out and have people over for dinners and what not ,but this side of being cautious hesitant and a bit scared or mistrusting is in the way and im trying to break the chains. The stronger side of me says it wont defeat me and yet im still being pulled back by that part of myself that wants to hide away. I want to make friends and invite ppl over and introduce to my kid as well in time but cant seem to get there. I dont feel like friend or family understand fully and no way of talking to a theropist or counciler.How can i win this fight against myself?
Danny
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 years recently left me. She has been untreated bipolar abs an eating disorder. We were both happily live and she is the most loving caring person I know. Two days after graduating from college she suddenly got very depressed. She was saying she was miserable and life was pointless and wanted to break up. Apart from that she gave no specific reason..in fact she giving reasons to stay (I’m her best friend, done more for her than anybody etc). I made contact with her 2 weeks after the break up but her reply was cold and distant. She has also ghosted me when I see her at the gym. It’s like she doesn’t recognize me. After 3 years I’m heartbroken. As far as I know she is working away as normal and living life as if the previous 3 years didn’t happen. It’s difficult to get me head around things. She may be going through a depressive cycle and trying to put a brave face on things, I don’t know. My heat sinks as I doubt she’ll ever speak to me again and I don’t know why. Any advice welcome